A Mother's Love
by Sparkle731
Summary: Rachel Starsky is forced to send her thirteen year old son away from home. Story is complete.
1. Chapter 1

**A MOTHER'S LOVE**

**Spoiler: Rachel Starsky is forced to send her thirteen-year-old son away from home. **

**CHAPTER 1**

Rachel Starsky quietly opened the door to the darkened room where her youngest son lay sleeping and stepped inside. Seven-year-old Nicky was lying sprawled out across the bed, sleeping peacefully, worn out from a day of play. Rachel smiled faintly as she picked up the blanket that he had kicked to floor and gently placed it back up over the sleeping child.

Sighing, she left the room, closing the door softly behind her. She walked down the hallway to the stairs and went down to the first floor. She entered the tiny living room and sat down on the worn sofa. Now she would wait. Wait for her oldest child, her thirteen-year-old son, David, to come home. She glanced anxiously at the clock on the wall above the mantel. It was almost midnight. Two hours past his ten o'clock curfew. David was getting more rebellious, out of control with each day that passed, and Rachel didn't know how to reach him anymore. He was shutting her out of his world. And it hurt. It hurt so much.

It was almost one A.M. before Rachel finally heard the kitchen door softly click open, followed by quiet footsteps on the linoleum floor. She glanced towards the archway between the two rooms just as David stepped out of the kitchen. He stopped and stood still, his sapphire eyes widening with surprise when he saw his mother sitting on the sofa. He hadn't been expecting her to be waiting up for him. Rachel felt a pang of sorrow when she saw David's eyes darken with suspicion and mistrust.

"Where have you been?" Rachel asked trying to keep the anger out of her voice but her tone still conveyed her worry and her anxiety.

"Out with my friends." David answered sullenly, a defiant tone slipping into his voice, determined to slip by his mother and to the security of his room.

"It's almost one o'clock in the morning. You were supposed to be home by ten." His mother reminded him.

"I'm home now. So what's the big deal?"

"David, you know the rules. You can't just do what you want." Rachel said trying to sound reasonable. "You're only thirteen years old."

"What are you gonna do about it?" David asked with a smirk, assuming a cocky stance with his hands resting on his hips. "Ground me?" Rachel sighed. She already knew that wouldn't work. He'd only sneak out of the house the first chance he got. He'd done it before. She visibly flinched at her son's next words and the venom in his voice "Just leave me the hell alone! Hanging out with my friends is better than hanging out around here!" Glaring at Rachel defiantly, he stomped past her and up the stairs. A moment later, she heard his bedroom door slam shut.

Rachel felt the sting of tears burning her eyes. David had always been so polite and respectful, such a well-behaved child. That was before his father's death had shattered his world. Rachel's thoughts drifted back to that day just over a year ago that had changed all of their lives forever.

_Micheal David Starsky had been the love of her life. They had gotten married when she was eighteen. She had known from the beginning that he planned to be a cop. It was the only thing he had ever wanted to do. He had loved his family and he was crazy about his two sons, his namesake, David Micheal and his youngest, Nicholas Marvin. David looked so much like his father that it was almost uncanny at times to see them together. They both had the same olive skin tone, dark brown curly hair, and beautiful sapphire blue eyes with thick dark lashes. _

_Every evening, David would stand at the back door, watching and waiting for his father to get home from work. They were so close. His father was David's hero and he wanted to be just like him when he grew up. He was already talking about following in his father's footsteps and becoming a cop too. He could spend hours just sitting and listening to his father tell stories about his day._

_That night had been just like any other night. There was no warning to prepare them for the events that were about to destroy their lives and leave them picking the pieces. Rachel was cooking supper when she heard her husband's car pull into the driveway. The back door slammed shut as David ran outside to greet his father. And then she heard the gunshots. Four loud explosions of sound that shattered the peaceful quiet of the early evening. Dropping the pan she was holding in her hands, she barely noticed the boiling water that splashed against her legs as the pan hit the floor. _

_She ran to the back door and burst outside. In front of her was a sight that would haunt her until the day she died and forced her to her knees in grief. Her husband was lying on his back in the driveway, his life's blood seeping out into the gravel beneath him. And her twelve-year-old son was kneeling beside him, cradling his dying father's head in his lap. Rachel didn't remember screaming, or the neighbors that came running from all directions, attracted by the sounds of the gunfire. What she did remember the most about that night was the sound of her son's screams as he begged his father not to die. _

_The next thing she remembered clearly about that terrible day was being in the kitchen as the tiny house filled with family and friends. Micheal had died in his own driveway, gunned down by unseen assailants. His life slipping away as he was cradled in his oldest son's arms. Rachel's next door neighbor, Pete O'Riley,, who was also a police officer had been one of the first people on the scene. He was the one who had stepped in and forced David to let go of his father's body so the paramedics could put him into the ambulance to take him away. David had shut himself in his room, coming out only for his father's funeral and to sit Shiva for seven days with the rest of the family. Afterwards, he had retreated back into the solitude of his room, refusing to talk to anyone and barely eating for almost two weeks. _

_When David finally did come out of his room, he came out a different child. An angry, sullen shell of himself who didn't know how or where to vent his rage at his father's murder. For the first time in his life, he was disrespectful to his elders and started getting into trouble, both at home and at school. Things only got worse as he started hanging out with an older group of boys from the neighborhood. And with each day that passed his behavior became worse and Rachel began to worry more. And now, a year later, it had come down to this. David was a child totally out of control and Rachel no longer knew what she should do. _

Rachel finally shoved herself to her feet and slowly made her way to her own bedroom. She paused at David's closed door but didn't open it. Her eldest no longer sought the comfort of her arms when he was in pain. Rachel went on to her room and threw herself down across the bed. She lay there, unable to sleep, until the early morning sun started to creep through the windows. Wearily, she forced herself to her feet to begin another day.

She woke up Nicky first and got him started on his morning routine, washing up and brushing his teeth and then getting dressed for school while she started breakfast. She would wait an hour before going upstairs to wake up David since he didn't have to leave for school as early as Nick did. She mentally braced herself for another fight. After staying out so late with his friends, David never wanted to get up in the morning. It had become an constant battle to get him out of bed and on his way to school during he week.

Rachel tried to pay attention to Nicky as he chattered throughout breakfast, excited about something he was doing at school that day. But her thoughts were distracted by her concerns for her eldest.

Finally, she shooed Nicky out the door and down the street towards the bus stop. Then she slowly climbed back up the steps to wake David up. She knocked loudly on his bedroom door. "David!" she called out "It's time to get up for school." When there was no answer, she knocked again. When there was still no sound from David's room, she carefully opened the door and stepped inside. She caught her breath sharply when she saw the empty bed and the open window. She sat down heavily on the edge of the bed and buried her face in her hands. She had no idea where her son had gone or when he would be back. All she could do was wait and pray that he would be all right out there alone on the streets. This wasn't the first time in the past year that David had cut school but it was the first time that he'd snuck out of the house in the middle of the night. With a heavy heart, Rachel realized that something had to be done soon about her son's rebellious behavior.

She spent the rest of the day trying to do some household chores and anxiously watching the clock. Nicky came home from school shortly after three and started telling her about his day as he enjoyed his afternoon snack. Rachel was only half listening, her thoughts still centered on her older son and his whereabouts. She fixed supper for herself and Nicky, putting a plate aside in the refrigerator for David. She continued watching the clock, getting more and more anxious and worried as it got later and David still didn't come home.

Trying to keep busy, she gave Nicky his bath and tucked him into bed, taking time to read him a bedtime story. She had just gone back downstairs when she was startled by the shrill ringing of the telephone. Grabbing it before it could ring again, she lifted the receiver to her ear and said breathlessly "Hello?"

"Is this Rachel Starsky?" an unfamiliar female voice said in her ear

"Yes, it is. Who is this?" she demanded, a worried tone creeping into her voice, as her eyes automatically checked the time. It was almost ten P.M. .

"This is St. Rita's hospital. Your son, David, is here and we need you to come down here as soon as you can."

"Is he all right? Is he hurt?"

"I'm sorry, ma'am. I'm not authorized to give you that information over the phone. The doctor will talk to you as soon as you get here. We need your verbal consent to treat him until you arrive."

"Yes, of course. Do whatever you have to do for him. I'll be there as soon as I can." Rachel said, hanging up without listening to the woman's reply. Immediately picking up the receiver again, she dialed her brother, Jacob, who lived just a few blocks away. After rapidly explaining the situation to him, Jacob told her he would come to the house to take her to the hospital and his wife, Mary Anne, would come with him so she could stay with Nicky. Rachel struggled to control her emotions and to hold back her tears as she hung up the phone and waited for her brother to arrive.

4


	2. Chapter 2

**A MOTHER'S LOVE**

**CHAPTER 2**

Rachel hurried into the hospital and grabbed the first nurse she saw by the arm. "My son!" she said frantically "David Starsky. Someone called me and said that he was here!"

The young nurse looked startled when Rachel grabbed her arm but her eyes softened when she heard Rachel's frantic plea. "Ma'am, if you'll just a seat over there, I'll see what I can find out for you about your son." She said as she gently removed Rachel's hand from her arm. An older gentleman with a strong resemblance to the anxious woman came up behind her and put his arm around her shoulders, quietly coaxing her over to one of the seats in the waiting area. The nurse turned and disappeared through a set of swinging doors that opened into the emergency room of the busy metropolitan hospital.

Rachel slumped down on the worn vinyl chair and tried to control her rising fear and anxiety. Ever since receiving the call from the hospital, she had been scared out of her mind wondering how badly David was hurt and what had happened to him. She kept her eyes focused on the doors that led to the emergency room and to her son. He was somewhere beyond those doors and her reach and he was hurt.

"Rachel, I'm sure that Davy is all right." Jacob tried to reassure her as he sat down in a chair beside her. "The doctors are gonna take care of him." He gently rubbed her shoulders trying to ease the tension that he could feel gathered there but Rachel didn't even seem to notice his soothing touch. David was Jacob's favorite nephew and he was as worried as Rachel was about his rebellious behavior since his father's death. He had tried to be there for his sister and her sons but David had made it painfully clear that he didn't want his uncle trying to take his father's place in his life.

Rachel jumped to her feet as the swinging doors opened and a uniformed police officer stepped out of the emergency room. Glancing around the room, the older man's gaze settled on Jacob and Rachel and he made his way across the room towards them.

"Are you Mrs. Starsky?" he asked in a deep rumbling voice.

"Yes." Rachel acknowledged trying to swallow past the painful lump that had suddenly risen in her throat. "Where is David? Where is my son?"

"The doctors are tending to him right now, Ma'am." The police officer said, "I'm sure someone will be out to talk to you soon. I'm Officer Riggs. I'm the one who found David and called the ambulance."

"What happened to him?" Jacob asked tightening his arm around Rachel's shoulders as they both waited anxiously for the answer to at least one of their questions.

"It appears that David was badly beaten by a gang of older boys and then thrown from a two-story building. I really don't have any more information other than that until I talk to David and see what he says happened." The officer said trying to give them the answers they wanted without going into too much detail about the incident. He didn't want to tell them that the boys were part of a local neighborhood gang that was well known for their violent behavior.

"Is David in trouble?" Jacob asked in a concerned voice. He had worried constantly that David would end up in trouble with the authorities if his delinquent behavior continued. If it hadn't been for some of his father's former colleagues on the police force stepping in already a few times, David would have been in Juvenile Hall.

"No. All indications are that David was the victim here." The officer reassured them. "We do have an eye witness who said they saw the older boys grab David and take him up to the roof where he was attacked. I'm hoping that David will be able to give me their names." The officer glanced at his watch and said, "I have to get back to the station and file my report. Someone will be in touch with you about getting a statement from David as soon as he's feeling up to it."

"Oh, my lord…." Rachel said with a sob, burying her face in her hands as the officer turned and walked away. "My poor baby." Jacob carefully lowered Rachel back down into her chair and held her while she cried softly against his shoulder. Now all they could do was continue waiting for a doctor to tell them how badly David was hurt.

Waiting for news about a loved ones condition in a hospital emergency room is never pleasant. Seconds drag by like hours, and minutes seem more like days. Time slows down to a crawl and there's nothing to distract your mind from the waiting. Each time those doors swung open and a nurse or a doctor came into the waiting room, Rachel prayed they would be coming with news about David but they always called someone else's name, not hers. Finally, after two long hours of waiting, a doctor stepped through those doors and said "Is there anyone here for David Starsky?"

"Yes!" Rachel said loudly, jumping to her feet and hurrying across the room towards the doctor, followed closely by Jacob. "I'm his mother." She said in a trembling voice as she reached the doctor's side. "How is he? Can I see him?"

"I'm Doctor Jennings." The older man said in a clipped professional tone, extending his hand as he introduced himself. Jacob shook his hand with a curt nod of his head, acknowledging his introduction. Rachel clutched her brother's arm as she anxiously waited for news about her son, gazing at the doctor's face intently and trying to tell from his expression if the news was good or bad. "Why don't we step over here where we can talk?" The Doctor escorted them to an isolated area on the opposite side of the registration desk. The doctor looked at the anxious worried faces in front of him and said gently "We've stabilized David and he's on his way to surgery right now. His left ankle was badly broken in four places and it's going to take surgical intervention to repair the damage. He also has two broken ribs, severely bruised kidneys and his left shoulder was dislocated. In addition, there are several severe lacerations, contusions and abrasions, along with a slight concussion. All in all, he was very lucky young man. His injuries could have been a lot worse."

"But he's going to be all right, isn't he?" Rachel asked, trying to keep her voice calm, her concern for her son's welfare heightened by the doctor's description of his injuries.

"It will take awhile but he should recover without any permanent damage. We're going to be keeping him here for a few days to make sure there are no complications and to watch out for infection."

"When can we see him?" Jacob asked trying to keep his voice composed and level.

"He'll be in surgery for at least two hours and then in recovery for awhile. As soon as he's settled into a room, I'll have one of the nurses come and get you. He'll be in the ICU for at least a day or two, so if you want you can go up there and wait. It's a bit more comfortable than down here. It's on the fourth floor."

"Thank you." Jacob said. The two men shook hands cordially once more and then Jacob steered Rachel over to the elevators. He reached out and pushed the button for the fourth floor. When the doors opened, they stepped inside and rode in silence up to the floor where the ICU was located. The elevator opened directly into the ICU waiting area.

The chairs and sofas arranged around the room were more comfortable looking then the ones down in the emergency area. The waiting room also contained a TV mounted on the wall, a vending machine for soft drinks and coffee, and a second vending machine for candy bars and chips. A large variety of magazines and newspapers were stacked on small tables around the room. A nurse was standing behind the nurse's station to their left as they stepped off the elevators. Smiling warmly, she said, "You must be the Starsky family. Just have a seat and I'll let you know as soon as David is in his room and ready for visitors." Jacob nodded curtly and steered Rachel over to one of the sofas so they could sit down. Once more, they found themselves waiting.

Rachel felt the start of a nagging headache that she knew would only get worse. Her doctor said they were stress related and they seemed to be coming more frequently in the past few months. Worrying about David wasn't helping any. Rachel kept glancing at her wristwatch, watching the minutes drag by. It was almost three o'clock in the morning before the nurse behind the desk came over to where they were sitting and said quietly,

"You can see David now….but just for a few minutes. He's sleeping and right now he needs his rest." Jacob and Rachel stood up and followed her down a long hallway with rooms on either side. All the rooms had a large glass window on one side of the doorway that looked into the room so family members and friends could still see into the room even if they couldn't go inside. Since it was nighttime, most of the windows had a blind pulled down affording the patients some privacy. The nurse paused in front of room 423 and said, "You have ten minutes and then I suggest you both go home and get some sleep. You can come back to see him tomorrow. He should be awake by then."

Jacob opened the door and they stepped inside. The room was larger than most hospital rooms but then it had to be to hold the various machines and monitoring equipment used in the ICU. Like most hospital rooms, it was painted that sea green color that was supposed to be soothing and restful that most people hated. David was lying on his back on the narrow hospital bed, his left leg elevated by an elaborate pulley system and encased in a cast that went from his foot to just above his knee. His left shoulder was in a sling and covered with a heavy bandage that was wrapped in such a way that it held his arm close to his body and kept it from moving. An IV ran into the crook of his right arm. Various monitors and sensors were attached to his body to record his heartbeat, his pulse rate, his respirations, his temperature, and his oxygen levels. A plastic tube snuck out from under the sheet that was pulled up to his waist and connected to a bag hooked to the bed frame that was collecting his urine. The soft beeps and humming of the machines was the only sound in the room.

Rachel choked back a sob as she stepped up to her son's bedside and gently rubbed her fingers across his right arm, carefully avoiding the IV line. David's dark lashes rested against his flushed cheeks and his face looked tired and drawn. His face was marked with heavy bruising along his jaw and his right cheekbone. His right eye was black and blue, swollen almost shut and the left side of his face was covered by a large scraped area. His arms were covered with scratches and abrasions, the fingers on his left hand badly swollen. Rachel could see several cuts on his arms that had been stitched closed. Since his chest and stomach was covered by the hospital gown he wore, she couldn't see any injuries that he might have in those areas.

"It's all right, baby….mama's here." Rachel said softly as she leaned down and gently brushed a kiss across her son's cheek. She felt the tears stinging her eyes as she tried to remain strong for her son's sake. No mother likes to see her child injured or in pain, especially the way that her David had been. Seeing his injuries first hand and knowing how he had received them was breaking her heart. She had to find a way to save her son from both the streets of New York and his own self-destructive behavior.

9


	3. Chapter 3

**A MOTHER'S LOVE**

**CHAPTER 3**

Rachel walked into David's room with a faint smile pasted on her lips. Her eldest son lay on the bed, his eyes open and staring sullenly out of the window to his left. She had become accustomed to that surly, remote expression on his face of late. The playful, laid-back child he'd been before his father's death had been replaced by this angry, withdrawn stranger in her son's body.

"Davy?" she said as she crossed the room to his side "How are you feeling?"

"What do you care?" he asked in a flat, toneless voice that tore at her heart.

"I care because you're my son and you're hurt." Rachel said trying to keep her anger retort in check. "Do you wanna tell me what happened?"

"No."

"The police said you were attacked by a gang of boys and thrown off a two story building. Is that true? Is that how you got hurt?"

"If they say so." David said, keeping his head turned away from her and refusing to look into her eyes. He flinched when Rachel put her hand on his right shoulder but he didn't pull away. "I'll be okay, Ma. Don't worry about it." There was a finality in his voice that bothered Rachel. She no longer knew what he was thinking or feeling, he had shut that part of himself off from her.

"You need to give the police their names so they can't hurt someone else."

David gave a little snort. In a sarcastic voice he said "Yeah, right….I'm not telling the cops anything……or I'll get killed the next time."

Rachel felt a chill of fear run down her spine. David's words were said in a calm, undisturbed voice as if he were discussing what they were going to have for supper. Rachel found herself wondering just how deep David had gotten into the counter culture of the streets, the unspoken code that clearly stated you didn't squeal on your friends or your enemies for that matter. What exactly had David done to make the other boys attack him? Had he simply been in the wrong place at the wrong time or was it something deeper than that, more sinister? Rachel wasn't sure that she really wanted to know.

"Are you in any pain? Did the doctor give you anything?" she asked, deftly changing the subject.

"I'm fine, Ma." David said in that same flat, detached voice "Why don't you just go home?" He closed his eyes and pretended to go to sleep, hoping his mother would take the hint and just leave him alone. He heard her sigh softly and then felt her lips brush against his forehead. He sensed her standing beside his bedside for a few more minutes, watching him, and then he heard her silently leave the room.

Once he was positive that she was actually gone, David let a single tear slide down his cheek. He longed to feel his mother's arms around him, comforting him the way she used to when he was little and got hurt, but he'd outgrown childish things like that the day his father died in his arms. He was scared by his own behavior lately but he didn't know how to change it. The older kids he hung out with demanded that he act like them in order to fit in.

He felt bad when he thought about some of the things he had done in the past few months that his mother didn't know about. Cutting school, shoplifting, taking joyrides with his friends in stolen cars, running errands for some of the local _Mafioso _that controlled the street. Not to mention drinking, smoking and having sex with girls who put out to anyone. He knew that he was on a fast track to nowhere and that his father would be ashamed of him if he knew what he'd been doing.

To be honest, he was scared to death because of the beating he'd received at the hands of a rival gang from another neighborhood. He had been sure they were going to kill him. It had all started because he'd been caught with one of the gang member's girlfriends. They'd grabbed him and drug him up onto the roof of the building where they'd kicked him into submission and then beaten him with a baseball bat. He'd never forget the agony when they broke his ankle and dislocated his shoulder. But that was nothing compared to the sheer terror he'd felt when they threw him over the side of the building. Luckily, he'd fallen into a pile of boxes lying in the alley below or he probably would have been killed.

His stubborn pride and headstrong willfulness prevented him from admitting that he was throwing away his life. And it was that same stubbornness that kept him from seeking the comfort and security of his mother's embrace. But it was his own instinct for survival that prevented him from telling anyone who had attacked him and why. Any tears he shed would be shed in silence, locked away with the rest of his emotions, deep inside of himself in a place nobody could reach. His true self hidden from the world behind the carefully constructed mask he presented to others.

When the doctor came in later to examine him, he bore his pain in silence, refusing to let anyone know just how much he was suffering. Although he didn't know it, that was a trait that would follow him into adulthood. He welcomed the blissful relief of the medication that lulled him into a restless sedated sleep. He was still half-asleep when they moved him from the ICU into a ward on another floor later that afternoon.

That evening, Rachel came to sit with her son again. He allowed her touch without pulling away but he still refused to talk to her beyond a few muttered words.

"I spoke to the doctor." Rachel told him with false enthusiasm, trying to raise his spirits. "He said as long as there are no complications, you can come home at the end of the week." When he didn't reply but just looked at her from beneath the shadow of his thick dark lashes, she added, "You'll be on crutches for awhile until your ankle heals enough for them to put on a walking cast but they don't think there'll be any permanent damage." A flicker of emotion crossed his face, almost too brief to notice. He had never thought about any permanent damage to his ankle. Rachel went on as if she hadn't noticed his continuing silence "Your shoulder will probably bother you for awhile even after the sling comes off but the doctor doesn't think you'll need any physical therapy."

She glanced pointedly at his supper tray which was still sitting, untouched, on his bedside table. "You really should eat something."

"You want it…you eat it." David said in an irritated voice. "It's tastes like crap…"

"David Micheal!" Rachel chided him "Watch your language!"

"Crap's not a bad word, Ma….I could've said shit." He said sullenly. He saw the anger flare in his mother's eyes and wisely decided to be quiet. She'd been pushed as far as she intended to let him push her for one day. "Sorry…." He muttered in a half-hearted apology.

"I really should be going. Jacob will back to get me soon. They're keeping Nicky until you get out of here but I still have to go to work in the morning." After her husband's murder, Rachel had been forced to take a part time job in a sewing factory to make ends meet. She worked three twelve-hour days a week and made barely enough money to pay their bills even with her husband's death benefits. And without any medical insurance, she would have to go to the Social Service department downtown to get help to pay for David's medical bills.

"Go home, Ma. I'll be okay." David said in a weary voice. He knew how bad things were for his mother since his father's death and he felt guilty that he was only adding to her problems. But he didn't know how to make things any easier for her. Maybe someday he could but not now. He accepted her good night kiss without complaining, for a fleeting moment wishing that he was Nicky's age again. He blinked back the tears that filled his eyes as she left the room, leaving him alone.

Rachel was silent on the ride home, ignoring Jacob's attempt at conversation. When she was safely behind the closed doors of her house, she picked up the phone and dialed her brother-in-law's phone number out in California. If Al and his wife, Rose, agreed, she had a plan to try and save her son from himself. She just hoped that she would have the strength to see it through. It would mean going against every motherly instinct she had and breaking her own heart in the process. And David may never forgive her but his safety and well being was more important to her than her own selfish needs to keep her family intact.

11


	4. Chapter 4

**A MOTHER'S LOVE**

**CHAPTER 4**

David sat in the wheelchair in front of the living room window and scowled darkly as he looked out at the neighborhood. Nicky had been excited to see him when Ma and Uncle Jacob brought him home from the hospital earlier that afternoon. He had insisted on being the first one to sign the cast on his leg and told him about an art project he was doing at school. David tuned him out; annoyed by his younger brother's insistent chattering. He wanted to be outside with his friends not stuck in the house with his mother and kid brother. But that was out of the question. Ma had forbidden him to hang out with his friends because of what had happened. And with his leg in the stupid cast, he couldn't just walk out the door like he would have done otherwise.

He turned his attention back to Nicky when he heard him say something about Uncle Al and Aunt Rose coming for a visit. "What'd cha say?" he asked sharply, glancing at his younger brother.

"I told you Aunt Rose and Uncle Al are coming to see us all the way from California." Nicky told him with a huge grin that showed the gap where his two front teeth were missing. He was please with himself because he knew something that David didn't.

"What for?" David asked suspiciously. His Aunt and Uncle from California hadn't been back to New York since Pop died. He wondered why they were paying them a visit now. "When are they coming?"

"This weekend." Nicky said happily. David had been ignoring him a lot since he started hanging out with his new friends and Nicky missed playing games with his big brother. He was pleased that David was even talking to him instead of telling him to get lost like he usually did.

"Boys, supper's ready!" Rachel's voice called from the kitchen before David could continue questioning his younger brother.

"Can I push your chair?" Nicky asked in an excited voice.

"Yeah, I guess." David told him with a heavy sigh. He reached down with his good hand and released the brake on the right hand side of the chair. Nicky grunted as he pushed the wheelchair towards the archway that led into the kitchen. The aroma of fried chicken filled the air and tall glasses of milk already sat on the table beside each boy's plate. Nicky maneuvered the wheelchair up to the end of the table in front of David's place setting.

Rachel sat a platter of fried chicken in the middle of the table and then added a bowl of mashed potatoes, one of rich dark gravy, and a side dish of green beans. She took her place at the table and reached out to join hands with her sons. Nicky rested his left hand on David's sling and the three of them bowed their heads as Rachel said the blessing. When she had finished, she began putting food on David's plate.

"Nicky said Aunt Rose and Uncle Al are coming for a visit." David said, looking at his mother sullenly. "How come?"

"I called them." Rachel said quietly "I asked them to come."

"What for?" David asked insistently. "They ain't been here for a visit since Pop died. Why should they come for one now?"

"I told you because I asked them to. We'll talk about this later." Rachel said firmly. "Now eat your supper." Both boys knew not to argue with their mother when she used that tone of voice so they began to eat. They finished their meal in silence and then Nicky helped his mother clear the table. While Rachel did the dishes, David rolled his wheelchair into the living to watch TV while Nicky went outside to play until dark.

David was engrossed in a movie when his mother came into the living room and shut off the TV. "Hey!" he objected, "I was watching that!"

"David, we need to talk." Rachel said solemnly as she sat down on the sofa, turning so she could see her oldest son's profile.

"About what?" David asked, immediately on guard and suspicious.

"About you. About all the trouble you've been getting into. About what happened with those other boys."

"There's nothing to talk about, Ma." David said flatly, refusing to look into his mother's eyes. This was a conversation that they'd already had several times in the past and he was in no mood to have it again.

"Not talking about isn't going to make it go away." Rachel pointed out patiently.

"You were lucky this time. What about the next time?"

"There won't be any next time."

"You can't be sure of that….not the way you'd been acting….not with those kids you've been hanging out with."

"Save the lecture." David said in an irritated voice, "I can take care of myself."

"No, you can't. Not as well as you think you can anyway." Rachel sighed softly. She didn't want to fight with David, not again but she knew that he was going to be very angry with her when he found what she had decided to do. "I don't know what to do with you anymore, David….you won't listen, you disobey me constantly, you sneak out of the house whenever you want to…and when I try to talk to you, you disrespect me and shut me out completely."

"Then why don't you just leave me alone?" David snapped sharply, his dark eyes turning to look at his mother angrily. "I don't need you telling me all the time what a fuck up I am!"

"David Micheal Starsky!" Rachel snapped just as sharply "You will not use that kind of language in this house! You're not too big for me to turn over my knee!"

"I'd like to see you try!" David shot back in a challenging tone, ignoring the pain that ripped through his heart when he realized that he may have finally pushed his mother too far this time. He wanted to apologize for his words but his pride refused to let him back down now.

Rachel took a deep breath to calm herself and exhaled slowly. In a quiet but determined voice, she said, "Al and Rose are coming here to take you back to California with them for awhile."

"What!?" David said his voice high with shock and surprise. "You're sending me away?" He blinked back his tears and jutted out his jaw stubbornly, refusing to let his mother see how much her words hurt him.

"You haven't let me much choice, David." His mother said, slowly rising to her feet. She knew she couldn't continue this conversation right now or she'd start crying. "I don't know what else to do with you."

As she walked out of the room, David yelled after her "I HATE YOU! I'LL NEVER FORGIVE YOU IF YOU SEND ME AWAY!" Biting back her own tears at the pain and anger she heard in her child's voice, Rachel forced herself to ignore him and climbed up the stairs to her bedroom.

As his mother disappeared out of sight, David choked back a sob and tried to calm his racing heart. He couldn't believe that his mother would actually send him away. He was sure he that could talk her out of it before that weekend. The idea of leaving the only home he'd ever known, his friends and his family terrified him. He barely knew Rose and Al. They had moved to California when David was a baby and he'd only seen them once a year when they came home for Christmas. He had to find a way to change his mother's mind.

Still reeling with shock at his mother's decision, David wheeled himself across the living to the downstairs bedroom where he would be sleeping until he could manage to climb the stairs to his room. He slammed the door loudly and locked it but he felt no satisfaction at his childish act. With some difficulty he managed to slide himself from the wheelchair to the bed. Lifting the heavy cast up to the mattress, he stretched out and turned his face, burying it in the pillow so nobody would hear the sound of his heartbroken sobs.

15


	5. Chapter 5

**A MOTHER'S LOVE**

**CHAPTER 5**

David sat in the back yard staring at the street, lost in his own thoughts. Aunt Rose and Uncle Al would be arriving from California tomorrow and when they went back, he would be going with them. He had tried pleading with his mother not to send him away but she had turned a deaf ear to his promises to be good from now on. He had even tried threatening her; telling her that he would run away but that hadn't done him any good either. Rachel's mind was made up and nothing David said or did was going to change it now. He was angry but under the anger was a deep-rooted hurt and fear. He had refused to speak to his mother for the past two days, giving her the silent treatment. But as much as his attitude was hurting her, deep inside he was hurting himself even more.

He glanced up as one of his friends from the neighborhood, Tommy Sullivan, snuck through the gate and came into the yard. Rachel was at work so David knew it was safe to talk to his friend for a few minutes. Tommy was the same age as David and lived with his mother in a two room apartment in the projects nearby. His mother worked the streets for a living so Tommy was left on his own most of the time.

"Hey, Davy…" Tommy said with a grin. He looked at the heavy cast on David's leg and the wheelchair, letting out a low whistle. "Man, it must be a bitch to be laid up like that."

"Yeah, it sucks." David agreed with a tight smile. "Especially since Ma said I can't leave the house."

"She tell ya that you can't hang out with us anymore?" Tommy said, his words more a of a statement of fact than it was a question.

"Something like that."

"Hey, we didn't have anything to do with what Rusty and his gang did." Tommy said defensively. "Hell, when Toby found out what they did to you, he tracked down Rusty's kid brother and beat the shit out of him." Street justice and payback in it's most basic form.

"Try telling my mom that." David said, choosing not to comment on Tommy statement about Rusty's kid brother. "She thinks you're all a bad influence."

"How long is she gonna make you hang around here?"

"Not long….she's sending me away." David said with a snort, turning his head to avoid his friend's eyes.

"What? Where the hell is she sending you?" Tommy said in a surprised voice.

"Out to California to stay with my Aunt and Uncle."

"California?" Tommy yelped "You gotta be kidding me! Man, she's a real bitch."

"Don't call my mom a bitch!" David snapped, turning back to glare at his friend angrily. He may be angry at his mother but nobody else was going to disrespect her. He inhaled deeply to control his surge of emotions and then sighed, "Maybe it'll just be for the summer. If I straighten up while I'm out there, maybe she'll let me come back home."

"Yeah, maybe. It sure won't be the same around here without you." Tommy grinned as he thought about some of the trouble the two boys had gotten into together in the past few months. One of the things he liked about David the most was the fact that he didn't seem scared to try anything, no matter how dangerous it was. Just being with him gave Tommy a false sense of security and courage. He knew no matter what went down, David always had his back.

"I tried talking her out of it but she's got her mind made up." David said sullenly. "She says it's for my own good."

"That what you think too?"

"Fuck no. I don't wanna leave….everything's just all screwed up right now. Ma's really pissed off at me this time."

"Hey, like you said…..maybe it'll just be for the summer." Tommy said trying to give his friend some encouragement. "When are you leaving?"

"My Aunt and Uncle will be here tomorrow and they're gonna stay for three days before they go back."

"That soon? That ain't much time. Is she even gonna let you say goodbye to anybody?"

"I doubt it. She just wants to get rid of me as soon as she can."

"I'm really gonna miss ya, man…" Tommy said self consciously, looking at his friend with a shy smile. "I'll tell the other guys what happened so they won't think you just cut out on 'em."

"Thanks. I don't want 'em to think I didn't care enough to say goodbye."

"Look, I gotta go…" Tommy said uneasily. Like most boys his age, he wasn't comfortable when he started talking about his feelings. "I'm supposed to meet Timmy and Steve over by the drug store. You take care, ya hear?"

"Yeah, thanks." David said as he watched his friend turn to leave the yard. As the gate swung shut behind him, David heard the back door open and then shut as Nicky came out of the house.

"What was Tommy doing here?" Nicky asked as he came up to stand beside his oldest brother, "Ma said you couldn't hang out with him no more."

"I wasn't hanging out with him." David said in an annoyed voice, "We was just talking and if you tell Ma he was here, I'll smack ya."

"I won't tell. I promise." Nicky said solemnly. He scuffed his tennis shoe back and forth in the dirt at his feet and then looked at his brother gravely. In a small voice, he asked "Is Ma really going make you go stay with Uncle Al and Aunt Rose?"

"It looks that way." David said tightly, suddenly finding it hard to swallow past the lump that seemed lodged in his throat.

"Why? What'd you do to make her so mad at you?" Nicky asked with the innocence of a child.

"Guess she just don't want me around no more." David said sharply. He made no attempt to hide the anger or the bitterness in his voice. He had used his anger to hide behind since his father's murder. For David it was a safer emotion for him to express than his pain. The anger had wrapped itself around his heart and squeezed out his other emotions until he didn't know how to react any other way.

"Is she gonna send me away too if I'm bad?" Nicky asked, his voice falling almost to a whisper, as he looked to his older brother for answers just like he always had.

A trace of a smile crept onto David's face as he glanced at his kid brother. Reaching out, he gently rumbled his curly hair. "Naw, you're her little angel…you never do nothing wrong." He said with a hint of gruffness and resentment in his voice. "She won't send you away."

"When am I gonna see ya again?"

"I don't know. California's a long way off. It's not like I'm gonna be just around the block."

"I'm gonna miss you." Nicky said with a slight hiccup in his voice as his eyes brimmed with tears.

"I'm gonna miss you too, kid." David said, gathering his little brother close and giving him a quick hug. "But I'll write ya. I promise."

"Okay." Nicky said in a small voice as if he doubted if he would ever see his big brother again once he was sent away. "Will you fix me a sandwich?" He said with a slight whine to his voice. "I'm hungry."

"Sure; I'm kinda hungry myself." David said, as he turned the wheelchair around to go back into the house. It had been easier getting the wheelchair out the back door than it was to get it back in but with Nicky's help, he managed. He told Nicky to get him the bread and peanut butter so he could make them some sandwiches. They ate in silence and then Nicky went into the living room to watch TV until their mother got home for work. After a few minutes, David joined him.

18


	6. Chapter 6

**A MOTHER'S LOVE**

**CHAPTER 6**

The sound of the door slamming echoed throughout the house as David disappeared into the bedroom. Rachel bit back the tears that brimmed in her eyes as her eldest deliberately shut her out just like he'd been doing for the past four days. Rose Starsky stepped up behind her and gently placed a hand on her shoulder. In a soft gentle voice she said, "Stay strong, Rachel. You're doing the right thing. You know you are."

"I pray to God you're right." Rachel said, choking back a sob that threatened to overcome her. "He's so angry with me….I'm not sure if he'll ever be able to forgive me."

"He will….just give him some time. He's angry at everything and everybody in his life right now, not just you. If you back down now and let him stay, he'll just keep getting into trouble and the next time he might not be as lucky as he was this time."

"I know you're right." Rachel admitted with a soft sigh as she turned to face the other woman. "But it still hurts so much….what kind of mother sends her child away to live with someone else?"

"A mother who cares. A mother who loves her son and wants what's best for him." Al Starsky stated as he came up to stand beside his wife. He looked at her encouragingly. "He'll be alright, Rachel. We'll take good care of him. And I'll make sure he calls you every Friday night at nine o'clock your time."

"I know you'll take care of him." Rachel said with a soft smile, "My mind tells me I'm doing the right thing…..but my heart still has a mind of its own." She glanced back at the closed door, a symbol of the barrier between her and her son.

"Let's have some coffee." Rose suggested, trying to distract Rachel from her remorseful thoughts. Rachel nodded as the three adults turned and walked into the kitchen. She would do what was right for her son, no matter how much it hurt her personally. Maybe someday when he was older he would be able to understand.

In his room, David grabbed his clothes out of the closet and the dresser in a cold rage. He threw open the old battered suitcase he had laid on the bed and stuffed them inside haphazardly. _Fine…she wants me gone so bad then I don't care anymore. I'm outta here! _He thought to himself. _She won't have to worry about me no more, she don't want me anyway. She has her precious Nicky. He never does anything wrong! _Deep inside, he could feel the tears that threatened to fall but he stubbornly refused to let them surface. He wouldn't give any of them the satisfaction of seeing him cry.

Rachel and Al had arrived late the night before and David had decided to ignore them just as he had been doing with his mother. He just glared at them when they tried to greet him and pulled away when Rose tried to hug him. He didn't want anyone touching him, not anymore. He was already building a wall around the raw emotions that threatened to overwhelm him. He swore to show them all, show them that he didn't need anybody, not anymore. He made himself a promise that nobody would ever get close enough to him to ever hurt him again.

David thought again about running away but he knew that wasn't very realistic. He had no place to go. And even if he did run away and stay with one of his friends until he figured out what to do, they'd only find him and make him leave anyway. Although he refused to admit it to anyone there was a part of him, deep inside, that was curious about California. He had never been outside of New York before. Any other time, under any other circumstances, it would be an adventure.

He forgot about packing any more of his clothes and threw himself down across the bed, burying his face in the pillow. He hated fighting with his mother but his stubborn pride refused to let him back down now. Underneath it all, deep inside, he was just a scared thirteen year old boy whose life was about to change dramatically.

After some time, he heard a light tap on the door and glanced up as it opened. Nicky came into the room with a plate of food since David had ignored his mother's voice calling for him to come to the table for supper. "Ma said you better eat it before it gets cold." Nicky said as he handed his older brother the plate.

David noticed that Ma had fixed his favorite meal, pot roast with potatoes, carrots and onions. She teased him and called it her 'Paul Muni Special' When he asked her one time who Paul Muni was, she told him that he was an actor that she liked and that David reminded her of him. Normally, David would have cleaned his plate and asked for seconds but tonight he didn't have much of an appetite. He accepted the plate and toyed with the food, taking a few bites now and then but mainly just pushing the food around on his plate.

Nicky climbed up on the foot of the bed and sat there solemnly watching his big brother as he played with his food. He was sad that Davy was really going away and there was a part of him that was angry with his mother too for making Davy leave. He wondered if Davy was sad too because he wasn't going to live with them anymore.

"Hey, kid…" David said glancing at his kid brother with a lopsided smile that never quite reached his eyes. "You can have my baseball and my bat. I ain't taking it with me…the glove too."

"You sure?" Nicky said in an excited voice, his eyes widening with pleasure. Davy still played ball with him sometimes but not much anymore, not since he started hanging out so much with his friends.

"Yeah, I'm sure. I won't need 'em where I'm going."

"Why not?" Nicky asked with a puzzled frown, tilting his head to one side to look at his brother questioningly as he waited for an answer.

"Cause I ain't gonna have no friends to play ball with."

"But you'll make new friends, won't ya?"

"Not like my friends here." David said gruffly. He gave up trying to eat and sat the plate on the nightstand. "Hey…you wanna help me finish packing?"

"Sure….but you ain't leaving till tomorrow night…why ya doing it now?"

"Why not? There ain't no reason to put it off till the last minute." David said with a shrug of his shoulders. He tried to lighten his mood as he climbed off the bed. It wasn't Nicky's fault that he had to go away. "Why don't you grab the rest of my stuff out of the closet?"

"Okay." Nicky said, climbing off the bed and doing as David asked. The older boy walked over to the dresser and opened the top drawer. He took out the framed picture of him with Pop in his policeman's uniform. It was taken when David was Nicky's age and he cherished the picture. It was the only one that he had of his father except for a small photograph that he carried in his wallet. He didn't want to forget it. In the bottom of the drawer, he found a Star of David on a long silver chain. He decided to take that too. He took the picture and the necklace and carefully put them in the bottom of the suitcase underneath some of his clothes where they wouldn't be damaged during the flight back to California. He'd never been on a plane before and the whole idea of flying scared him but he'd never admit that to anyone..

He sighed as he finished packing what few clothes he had. He decided to leave his heavy winter jacket behind. He doubted if he would need it out in California. He hoped that when it came time to actually leave he wouldn't embarrass himself by falling crying. He'd already tried that and it hadn't changed his mother's mind about sending him away so he doubted if it would now. As he glanced around the room trying to remember if he had forgotten anything he wanted to take with him, he found himself wondering if he would ever see this house or his family again. He had never felt so alone or abandoned in his life.

20


	7. Chapter 7

**A MOTHER'S LOVE**

**CHAPTER 7**

It was almost time to go. David straightened his shoulders and tried to calm the frantic pounding of his heart. His Aunt and Uncle were saying there goodbyes to his mother, who was crying softly. Nicky stood beside her, looking almost as scared as David felt inside.

His mother took a step towards him and wrapped her arms around him tightly. David tightened up but allowed her embrace, blinking back the tears that filled his eyes.

"I love you, David….always remember that." Rachel sobbed as she held him close. "Don't ever doubt that, son."

"I won't, Ma." David said uncomfortably, deliberately pulling away from her embrace before he embarrassed himself by breaking down. He wanted so badly to cry and tell his mother how much he loved her too, to beg her again to let him stay, not to send him away, but he knew it was too late for that.

Wiping at her eyes, Rachel grabbed his hand and pressed something small and hard into his palm, gently closing his fingers around it. "I want you to have these. They're yours now…so you'll always remember who you are and where you come from."

David opened his hand slowly and instantly felt a hard lump rise into his throat. Lying in the palm of his hand was the two rings his father had always worn on his right pinky finger. A braided silver band and his mother's gold wedding band that he had given her on their wedding day. When he had replaced it with a diamond wedding set on their Tenth Anniversary, he had put the ring on his own hand. Without a word, David took the rings and slipped them onto his own left pinky finger.

"There's our cab." Al said as the yellow taxi pulled up to the curb in front of the house. He grabbed the single bag that he and Rose had brought with them, along with David's single suitcase and carried them towards the cab. Nicky ran to his older brother and threw his arms around his waist, hugging him tightly as if he would never let him go. He starting crying and David had to choke back his own tears, determined to remain strong even though his heart was breaking inside. Hugging him back tightly, David leaned down and whispered in his ear "You take good care of Ma, ya hear me? If you don't I'll come back and kick your ass."

He straightened up as his Aunt stepped forward and slipped her arm around his shoulders. "It's time to go, David." Rachel gently untangled Nicky's arms from around his waist and pulled her youngest son into a warm embrace. Two sets of identical sapphire blue eyes met and locked in a final goodbye, communicating in silence the words neither of them could speak out loud, as Rachel and her eldest son exchanged a final glance. "You make sure and call me as soon as you get there." Rachel said, a slight quiver in her voice as she struggled to control her emotions.

David nodded without speaking and allowed his Aunt to guide him to the waiting cab. He climbed into the back seat with his Aunt, while his Uncle climbed into the front with the driver. Turning his head to stare out the window, David watched as his mother, his brother, and his childhood home faded out of sight.

Rose glanced at her nephew. She could feel his emotional pain and she longed to reach out and comfort him but she restrained herself, knowing that he would not allow it. Not now. Not yet. She found herself thinking how much he was like his father in that respect, keeping his hurt close to his heart and not letting anyone really know what he felt inside. He was definitely Micheal Starsky's son. He looked like his father and he was already acting like him too, trying to be so strong and independent, so determined not to let anyone see him cry.

He was silent all the way to the airport, just staring out the window as the familiar sights of the city he knew as his home passed him by. When the cab pulled up in front of the terminal, he climbed out of the cab without a word and followed his Aunt and Uncle into the building. They found their boarding gate, checked their suitcases, and then gave the woman on duty their tickets. They were ushered down the enclosed ramp to the plane. Once on board, they were escorted to their seats by a perky flight attendant with a big smile and a deep southern drawl. Al and Rose were sitting together with David sitting in a window seat directly in front of Rose.

Lost in his own misery, David stared out the tiny window at the busy activity on the ground below as the plane prepared for take off. He made sure his seat belt was securely tightened and tried to calm the nervous fluttering of his stomach. He barely noticed as the flight attendant began her standard pre-flight instructions. David clenched his hands into fists, his fingernails digging painfully into the palms of his hands, as he felt the plane start to move down the runway. Unable to watch the takeoff, he closed his eyes tightly until he was sure that they were in the air.

It was a long flight to California, almost six hours with a short layover half way there. David managed to sleep part of the way. When the flight attendant came around with the meal trays, David refused his. He was afraid the food wouldn't stay down on his nervous stomach, but he did accept the glass of root beer she gave him with a sincere smile of thanks. Al and Rose talked quietly between themselves during the flight without trying to draw David into their conversation. He realized that they were trying to give him as much space as he needed to adjust to the major realignment of his life. He knew he should be grateful for that but somehow it just made him feel worse.

When they finally arrived in Los Angeles, David was surprised to realize just how warm it was when they got off the plane. Back home it was still cold enough to need a jacket during the daytime and a couple of blanket at night. He figured the weather here was one thing he wouldn't have any trouble getting used to at least. He stayed close to his Aunt and Uncle as they picked up their luggage and slowly made their way through the huge airport terminal with crowds of people everywhere.

Once they were outside the terminal, Al flagged down a cab and the three of them climbed inside for the ride to their house in Bay City, a nearby suburb. Al and Rose lived in a quiet middle class neighborhood with rows of modestly built homes, suitable for young families just starting out or older couples looking for a quiet place to retire. As the cab drove down the tree lined street, David marveled at the new and unusual sights. Sights he had only read about in books. Sights like palm trees lining the street and front yards with Orange trees growing in them instead of big Elm trees. Talk about culture shock for an uprooted New York Jewish kid from Brooklyn.

The cab finally stopped in front of a small one-story brick ranch house with a fenced in back yard. David and his Aunt climbed out of the cab, waiting patiently while Al paid the driver and collected the bags. David stole a furtive glance at his new home, wondering what life would be like behind those four walls in the months to come. He could already feel the first sharp pangs of homesickness gnawing at his heart. Sighing softly, he followed his Aunt and Uncle up the cobblestone walkway to the front door.

The inside of the house was nicely furnished with fairly new but inexpensive furniture. As Al shut the door, Rose said "David, why don't you take your things to your room and put them away while I fix us a bite to eat? You have to be hungry. I noticed you didn't eat on the plane. Your room is just down the hall. Last door on the left."

"Yes, Ma'am." David said politely, taking his bag from his Uncle and heading in the direction she had indicated. More than anything else, he just wanted to lie down and go to sleep. It had already been a long exhausting day and he was experiencing his first taste of jet lag. He found his room and opened the door, stepping across the threshold and into his new life.

The room was almost twice as big as the tiny room back home that he shared with Nicky. And for the first time in his life, he would have the room all to himself. He was grateful that the hated cast on his leg had been changed to one he could walk on just before his trip. At least he wasn't stuck in that wheelchair anymore. He hoped he never got hurt that bad again. He'd overheard the doctor telling Ma in the hospital that his ankle might always bother him and be weaker then his other one because of how badly it had been broken. But the doctor was optimistic that he would be able to walk without a limp.

He knew he should be grateful for that but, at the moment, he found it hard to be grateful about much of anything.

David sat his suitcase down on the double bed and opened it to unpack. He was surprised to find a white envelope lying on top of his nearly folded clothes. He recognized his mother's handwriting immediately. Taking out the envelope, he sat down on the edge of the bed and carefully tore it open, taking out the single sheet of paper he found folded inside. As he opened the paper, he was startled to find one hundred dollars in tens and twenties inside. He knew that it hurt Rachel financially to give him that much money. Quickly stuffing the money into the nightstand beside the bed, he began to read his mother's letter.

_My darling David,_

_I know you still do not understand why I am sending to stay with Al and Rose. You have to trust me when I tell you that I am doing it because I love you. So much has happened to you in the past year, to all of us, and I know how much you are hurting inside. I know how much you loved your father and just how much you miss him. But I could not allow you to continue to destroy your life the way you were doing. I know you don't see it that way but you were heading for trouble and I had to do something to put a stop to it. _

_You will never know how much it hurt me to have to do this. The last thing I wanted to do was to send you away. But I had to do what I felt was best for you. I couldn't let my love for you stand in my way. I can only pray that someday you will understand and that you will forgive me. I will always love you, my son. Nothing will ever change my love for you. _

_Give Al and Rose a chance. Don't let your anger and your pain take over your life. Your father wouldn't want that and neither do I. You're a good boy, David. I know that. You're just confused right now and hurting inside. But just remember, you have so many people who love you and care about you and only want what is best for you. _

_Take care my son and keep my love with you always. Call me every Friday like we talked about. Remember to go to Temple and to say your prayers. God be with, David…just as I am._

_Love MA_

David choked back the tears as he finished his mother's letter. He carefully folded it back up and put it into the envelope. He slipped it into the nightstand alongside the money and whispered, "I love you too, Ma and I miss you already."

25


	8. Chapter 8

**A MOTHER'S LOVE**

**CHAPTER 8**

Rose watched as David slowly walked down the front walk to go to the small grocery store on the corner. He was getting better getting around with the cast on his leg. It was a shame that he was going to have to have it on his leg for at least another 6 weeks according to the doctor. His ankle was taking longer to heal than the doctors in New York had originally anticipated, the bones knitting together slowly, even with the pins in them.

David had been with Rose and Al for almost two weeks now. He was slowly learning his way around the neighborhood but he was making little effort to make friends with any of the other neighborhood children his age. Rose knew he was having a difficult time adjusting to the change in his lifestyle. He never smiled anymore and he barely spoke more than a few words at a time to Rose or to Al. His deep rooted sadness was still held in check behind a wall of anger at everything and everyone around him. But sometimes late at night, Rose could hear the muffled sound of crying coming from behind his closed bedroom door.

David was lost in his own thoughts as he slowly made his way towards the little mom and pop store on the corner. He readily agreed to run the errand for Aunt Rose just to have an excuse to get out of the house for awhile. He stumbled, catching the bottom edge of his cast on a crack in the sidewalk. He hated the damn thing and the doctor said he still had to have it on for at least six more weeks, maybe longer if his ankle didn't heal right. Hyperactive and full of excessive energy, David hated how much it slowed him down and limited both his movement and his activities. He missed playing basketball with his friends, not that he had any friends here to play basketball with anyhow. He was lonely, miserable and homesick.

As he neared the entrance to the store, a voice called out to him "Hey you, white bread….you got a light?"

David turned his head to look at a tall thin black boy about his age standing against the side of the building, a cigarette dangling from his long thin fingers. He shook his head "No, sorry." He said politely

"Oh well….just thought you might." The black boy said with a friendly grin. He pulled a crumbled pack of cigarettes from his shirt pocket and slipped the cigarette back inside. Stuffing the cigarettes back in his pocket, he said "What ya getting at the store?"

"Just running an errand for my aunt." David told him with a shrug of his shoulders. He paused looking at the other boy cautiously. Normally, he would have ignored him and just kept walking but something about the other boy made him feel comfortable and at ease. Maybe it was because he sensed that somehow they were an awful lot alike.

"What ya do to your leg?"

"Busted my ankle." David said without going into further detail.

"That must be a real bitch." The black boy said with a grin, cocking his head to one side "You talk funny. You ain't from around here, are ya?"

"Naw. I'm from New York." David said. He felt awkward when the other boy mentioned his heavy Brooklyn accent but he didn't take any offense at the comment. To his ears, the other boys speech sounded strange too.

"What are you doing here?"

"Staying with my Aunt and Uncle for awhile."

"Did you get your ass in some kinda trouble back home?" the other boy observed with a smirk. "Get sent out here as punishment?"

"Something like that." David said with a dark scowl.

"Hey, what's your name anyway?"

"Dave. Dave Starsky."

"Nice to meet you, Starsky." The black boy said with a warm smile on his expressive features "My name's Tommy. Tommy Brown. But my friends all call me Huggy. Huggy Bear."

"Huggy Bear?" David said with a laugh.

"Hey, my man….I'll have you know my ladies gave me that nickname cause I hug 'em so good……" he joined in with David's laughter "But you can just call me Huggy."

"You live around here, Huggy?"

"Me? Naw….I live downtown in the projects. Just slumming today. Nothing else to do, ya know?"

"Yeah….tell me about it." David told him "Hey, look I better get the stuff my Aunt sent me here for and get back before she sends my Uncle out looking for me or something, ya know?"

"They got you on a pretty short leash, huh?"

"Not really….I just don't know my way around yet." David told him a little defensively.

"Hey, no problem. Tell ya what, if you can get 'em to cut you loose for a little while….I could show ya around if ya want."

"Can't go too far with this thing " David said glumly, motioning at the cast on his leg.

"Yeah, I guess not. Tell ya what, white bread, when you git that thing off, look me up and we'll hang." Huggy told him "I live at 315 North Prospect Place, Apartment 609. Just ask anybody there for the Bear." He jerked his head towards the south "You can't miss the projects….it's about ten blocks down that way."

"Yeah, okay. Maybe" David told him. He turned away and went into the store to get the items his Aunt had sent him after. For the first time since coming to Bay City, he smiled. It felt good to have at least one friend. He wondered how his Aunt and Uncle would react when they met Huggy Bear. He giggled at the humorous nickname. He hoped he adopted a better one before he became an adult.

When David returned to the house, Rose noticed immediately that he seemed to be more at ease. He even had the trace of a smile tugging at his lips. "You look like you're in a good mood. Did something happen between here and the store?" she asked curiously.

"Not really." David told her "I just met this other kid and we got to talking that's all."

"Good. It's about time you started making some friends." Rose said with a relieved smile.

"Why?" David asked, the ghost of the smile disappearing from his face as he grabbed a bottle of root beer out of the refrigerator. "I'll be going back home when school starts in the fall." Grabbing an apple out of the bowl sitting on the table, he disappeared down the hallway and into his room.

Rose sighed softly and turned her attention back to the cherry pie she was making for supper. She didn't have the heart to tell David that he wouldn't be going home like he expected to in the fall. He'd be staying with them in Bay City indefinitely. She knew that he would have to be told eventually but now was not the time. As she put the pie in the oven to bake, she remembered that it was Friday. She'd have to remind David to make his weekly call to his mother.

He was still angry at her for sending him away, still feeling as if she had abandoned him and didn't want him around anymore, but at least they were talking without arguing. Rachel and her son both had a quick, volatile temper and were used to saying exactly what was on their mind. By the same token, they were openly affectionate with each other, or had been before Michael was killed and David built a wall around his emotions. But every now and then, Rose caught a glimpse of the boy that David used to be and she hoped that with time, love and patience, he would tear down those walls and move forward with his life. He was still a good kid, he just need some guidance and a push in the right direction.

28


	9. Chapter 9

**A MOTHER'S LOVE**

**This chapter being posted early as a special treat for all the faithful readers of this epic.**

**CHAPTER 9**

David slammed down the receiver, bitter tears burning his eyes, as he fought to control the surge of anger that threatened to overwhelm him. His mother had just told him that he wouldn't be coming back home when school started in the fall. He felt betrayed and lied to. Rose glanced at her nephew cautiously. She knew from the tone of his voice and the heat in his words that the conversation with his mother had not gone well.

"David, is everything all right?" she asked worriedly

"YOU LIED TO ME! YOU ALL FUCKING LIED TO ME!" David yelled unable to control his anger any longer "NONE OF YOU EVER INTENDED TO SEND ME BACK HOME IN THE FALL!"

"David, please calm down so we can talk about this." Rose said gently, concerned about David's present state of mind.

"GO TO HELL!" David snarled "WHY SHOULD I LISTEN TO YOU!"

"THAT'S ENOUGH, YOUNG MAN!" Al yelled, raising his own voice in anger. "YOU WILL NOT TALK TO YOUR AUNT LIKE THAT. DO YOU HEAR ME?"

Without a word, David turned and stomped down the hallway to his room, slamming the door loudly behind him. Al and Rose exchanged a worried glance. Things had been going too well for the past few days, they should have known it was too good to last. Biting back his own anger at David's attitude, Al walked down the hall and started to open the door to David's room. It was locked.

"David, unlock this door! Now!" Al demanded in a stern voice. When there was no immediate answer, he added "If you don't then I'm going to kick it in!"

Finally, he heard the click of the lock being turned but the door remained closed. Al reached down and turned the knob, opening the door and stepping into the room. David was standing beside the window, staring outside with his back towards his Uncle.

The tightness in his shoulders and the rigid set to his back clearly displayed his outrage.

Al took a long, deep breath and exhaled slowly. Trying to keep his voice calm and level, he said "I realize you're angry and that you think we all lied to you but while you are in this house, you will treat me, your Aunt Rose and your mother with respect. Is that clear?"

"Crystal." David muttered sullenly, his attitude sounding clearly in his the tone of his voice. He kept his back to his uncle, refusing to turn around. He was angry. He felt deeply betrayed. And deep inside, he was hurt all over again. He had been telling himself ever since he came to Bay City that it was only temporary, that he would be going back home in the fall when school started and then things would get back to normal. But now, that hope had been shattered. He was staying here with Rose and Al and there was nothing he could do to change that. So many conflicting emotions surged inside of him that he couldn't get a handle on any of them.

"When you feel like talking instead of staying in here and sulking, I'll be in the living room." Al told him, as he backed out of the room, Just before he shut the door, he added "And no more locked doors in this house or I'll take the lock off your door." He closed the door softly and David listened to the sound of his footsteps as they faded down the hallway.

When he was sure that his Uncle wasn't going to be coming back to lecture him anytime soon, David slowly and quietly raised his bedroom window. Slipping out the screen, he carefully eased himself out the window and dropped to the back lawn. He had to get away. He had to think. Keeping in the shadows, he made his way across the yard and slipped into the street. He had no idea where he was going but he was leaving. The money his mother had given him was tucked safely inside his tennis shoe so at least he'd be able to pay his own way for a few days until he figured things out.

The cast hampered his escape but he ignored the throbbing ache in his healing ankle as he trudged down the street. The darkness surrounded him and he welcomed the solitude it offered. He'd learned enough on the streets back home to survive on his own for a while if he had too. He just needed to make sure and avoid the cops at all costs.

As he moved away from the middle class neighborhood where his Aunt and Uncle lived and closer to the downtown streets, the houses became more rundown and crammed closer together. Trash, discarded furniture and broken bottles littered the sidewalks. Alleys loomed, dark and forbidding. This was a world that David was familiar with, one he knew how to survive in.

After a while, he ducked into one of the alleys and crouched down behind an overflowing dumpster to rest for bit. Leaning his back against the brick wall of the building behind him, he closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep, exhausted both physically and mentally. Sometime later, he jerked awake, startled by the rat that ran across his body. Cursing under his breath, he shoved himself to his feet and went in search of another place to spend the night.

He soon found an abandoned house with boarded up windows. Going around to the back, he pulled a board off one of the broken windows and climbed inside. The house had that musty closed up smell of a place that hadn't been lived in for a long time. Most of the furniture was gone but he found an old mattress in one of the downstairs rooms covered with a dirty stained comforter. Grateful for a place to rest, he threw himself down on the bed and fell back to sleep until morning.

The rumbling of his stomach awakened him shortly after dawn, reminding him that he hadn't eaten any supper the night before. Shoving himself to his feet, he found the bathroom where he relieved himself and splashed some of the cold rusty water from the sink on his face. Running his fingers through his unruly curls, he left the house the same way he went in.

He glanced around the neighborhood to get his bearings. Spotting a dingy diner on the corner, he made his way in that direction. He slipped inside and sat down at one of the battered wooden tables. When a bored looking waitress with heavy glasses and bleached blonde hair came over to ask what he wanted, he ordered eggs over easy, white toast, and hash browns with a cup of coffee to wash it down. As she disappeared into the kitchen to place his order, he cautiously leaned down and pulled a five dollar bill from the inside of his shoe to pay for his meal. At that time of the morning, the only other customer in the diner was an old man who was sitting dozing at a table in the far corner or the room. When his food came, David ate it quickly, left the money to pay for it on the table and quickly left the diner before the waitress could decide to ask him any questions.

He spent most of the day just wondering the streets checking out his new environment and trying to decide what to do next. When nightfall came, he made his way back to the abandoned house to spend another night alone. His anger from the day before had drained away leaving him feeling detached and alone. He still wasn't sure just what he intended to do but he knew that the one thing he didn't intend to do was go back to his Aunt and Uncles any time soon.

27


	10. Chapter 10

**A MOTHER'S LOVE**

**Okay, here's another treat for you. Another quick chapter. Hope you like it.**

**CHAPTER 10**

David jerked awake, startled and disoriented momentarily. He caught his breath as he sat up and looked around, trying to remember where he was. Then he remembered. He had ran away from his Aunt and Uncle's house when he found out that he wasn't going to be allowed to go back to New York in the fall when school started like he had been counting on. He sighed heavily as he let the tension slowly train from his body. He had to come up with some kind of plan. He knew Rosie and Al would be looking for him and they'd probably have the cops after him too. Briefly, he thought about how worried and upset his mother would be when she found out what he had done but he couldn't concern himself with any of that now.

From the bright sunlight that was pouring through the uncovered window behind him, he realized it must be late morning. His rumbling stomach also confirmed that fact. He pulled his money out of his shoe and counted it. He had just over eighty dollars left but he knew that wouldn't last long if he had to use it for food. Shoving himself to his feet, he went into the bathroom to take care of business, then climbed out of the window.

He bought some doughnuts from a bakery a few blocks away from the abandoned house where he was staying and got a cold soda out of a machine to wash them down with. He wandered the streets aimlessly, not really paying much attention to where he was going. He was startled when he heard a voice yell, "Hey, white bread! Whatcha doing down here?"

He jerked up his head and saw Huggy Bear leaning against the side of a building across the street. The tall thin black boy grinned as David darted across the street towards him. "Hey," he said a little breathlessly, relieved to see a friendly face that he recognized.

"Ain't you a little out of your neighborhood?" Huggy asked with a smirk. "What happened to that leash around your neck?"

"I split." David said with a trace of sarcasm creeping into his voice. "They lied to me. I thought I was only gonna be here until school started back up in the fall."

"So ya made like a jack rabbit, huh?"

"Yeah."

"Where you staying?"

"Here and there." David said evasively, not sure just how far he could trust Huggy yet.

"In other words you're hanging on the streets." Huggy said knowledgably. "Hey, man…this ain't New York, ya dig? Things are a lot more dangerous out here if you don't know what you're doing."

"You ain't never been to New York, have ya?" David asked with a sneer "It ain't no picnic there either."

"So whatcha gonna do?

"I don't know yet." David admitted "I ain't going back to my Aunt and Uncle's place that's for sure."

"They gonna have the cops looking for ya?"

"Probably….but I ain't scared of the cops. I know how to dodge them."  
"You got guts, white bread. I'll give ya that much." Huggy said with a grin "Hey, look….why don't you come back to my place with me? You can hang there for a while. My ma won't care. She has this thing about strays."

"Hey, I don't need your charity." David said a little defensively "I can take care of myself."

"Oh, I'm sure you can." Huggy said, slinging an arm around his new friend's shoulders. "I ain't offering ya no charity…..just figured you might like sleeping in a real bed. It's probably better than wherever you been sleeping…..and safer too."

"Why are you doing this?" David said suspiciously. "You don't even know me."

"What's to know? You're a white ass punk from New York with an attitude. You'll fit right in with my hood." He tugged on David's shoulders, encouraging him to walk with him. He glanced at the cast on David's leg meaningfully "Besides if something would happen to go down….I can't see ya running away very fast with that thing slowing ya down."

"Okay…." David said reluctantly "But just for one night." David had to admit that it sounded better than wandering the streets all day by himself.

"We'll talk about that later." Huggy told him with a chuckle as they walked down the sidewalk in the opposite direction. As they walked, Huggy stopped to talk to various people along the way. He seemed to know everybody in the neighborhood and they all seemed to know him. None of them paid much attention to David even though he was painfully aware that he stuck out like a sore thumb in this predominately black neighborhood. Just being with Huggy seemed to give him the stamp of approval from the black boy's friends and acquaintances. Having already felt the sharp sting of discrimination himself for being Jewish, David was more tolerant of other races and religions than some of his friends back in New York. He sensed that was a trait he shared with his new friend.

"So tell me," Huggy said as they walked along "Why did your folks send you all the way out here anyway? What'd you do to piss 'em off?"

"It was my Ma who sent me out here." David said a sharp edge of anger creeping into his voice "She said she was doing it for my own good."

"Was she?"

"I don't wanna talk about it." David snapped "Cause it ain't none of your damn business."

"Seems to me you need to talk about it instead of keeping all that anger bottled up inside of ya." Huggy told him calmly, ignoring his outburst. "You're ready to explode and there ain't gonna be nobody around to pick up the pieces."

Look, I don't need this shit from you or anybody else!" David said sullenly, stopping suddenly and turning to glare at the black boy defiantly. "I've had enough crap from everybody for the past few weeks to last me for the rest of my life!"

"Hey, calm down." Huggy, lifting his hands in a gesture of surrender "I'm on your side, remember?"

"Than start acting like it and stop asking me so many damn questions." David snarled, the anger still boiling just beneath the surface.

"White boy's got a temper," Huggy said with a chuckle, throwing his arm back over David's shoulders "Goes with the attitude. I can see that we're gonna get along just fine." He grinned broadly "Okay, no more questions. I wouldn't want you to get all riled up again and run away…..at least not until you figure out what you're running from."

"What's that supposed to mean?" David demanded

"Hey, you're a smart kid…..I bet you'll figure it for yourself sooner or later." Huggy said as he led him into a large courtyard surrounded on three sides by four story red brick buildings that had seen better days. The courtyard was cluttered with trash, empty cans and broken toys. Huggy opened the door to the building on his left and ushered David inside. The interior smelled of cigarette smoke, urine, and a mixture of stale cooking odors that lingered in the air. David followed Huggy up a rickety dimly lit stairway to the third floor. He stopped at the doorway to Apartment 3D and opened the door. The two boys stepped inside.

The apartment was small with bare wooden floors and unpainted walls. A dim light overhead cast dark shadows in the corners of the room. A tiny kitchenette stood off to one side where a heavyset black woman with her hair pulled back into a bun was cooking something on the stove. David's mouth watered hungrily at the aroma that filled the air. She glanced at the two boys and smiled warmly, welcoming them. She didn't seem to be surprised to see her son with a strange white boy she'd never met before.

"I see you brought a friend home with you." She said with a faint accent to her voice.

"Yeah, Ma." Huggy said "This is Dave. He needs a place to crash for a couple of days."

"I see. It's nice to meet you, Dave."

"Nice to meet you too, Ma'am." David said, remembering his manners.

"Ma'am?" she said with a soft laugh "It's been a long time since anyone called me Ma'am. Such nice manners for a white boy." She turned her attention back to the stove "Are you boys hungry?"

"Starving." Huggy said with a grin and a wink at David. They sat down at the tiny table while his mother opened the refrigerator and poured each of them a large glass of milk. She sat the glasses on the table in front of them and then grabbed two bowls out of the cabinet over her head. She quickly filled them both and sat one down in front of each boy. David smiled when he saw the thick rich chicken broth and plump dumplings in his bowl, mixed with thick pieces of white meat. As they began to eat, she turned off the stove and said "I have to get ready for work. I should be home around six."

"That's okay, Ma. We're just gonna hang here for a while." Huggy said as his mother disappeared into a tiny bedroom off of the living room. He glanced at David who was enjoying his meal. "Give me and you a chance to get to know each other better." He said "Unless you're gonna take my head off again if I start asking you too many questions. Kinda hard to get to know somebody without asking questions." David flushed self-consciously, ashamed of his earlier outburst. It wasn't Huggy he was mad at. It was everything else in his life.

"I'm sorry about earlier." David mumbled "I just don't like to talk about back home, ya know?"

"Fair enough." Huggy said good naturedly "I figure you'll tell me whatever you want me to know when you're ready to."

"Is it just you and your Ma?" David asked, trying to change the subject away from himself.

"Yeah. My old man split when I was five. It's just been me and Ma ever since."

"What's your Ma do?"

"She cooks for a restaurant down the street. Works the lunch and supper trade."

"She's a good cook." David said as he finished his food and drank his milk.

"Damn straight she is."

"So is my Ma." David said, the words slipping out before he realized he was going to say them. He hung his head to hide his eyes as the homesickness washed over him so strong he could almost taste it. He just wanted to go home, back to New York. He didn't want to stay here where he didn't know anybody or have any friends. Well, maybe one friend he quickly amended.

35


	11. Chapter 11

**A MOTHER'S LOVE**

**CHAPTER 11**

Huggy was awakened from a deep sleep by the restlessness of his new friend sleeping on a pallet on the floor beside his bed. He was obviously caught up in the midst of a nightmare. He was whimpering in his sleep and thrashing around with his arms as if fighting off some unseen enemy. "Hey, kid….." Huggy said reaching down to grab the other boy's shoulder "Wake up, man….you're dreaming." David remained trapped in his nightmare, seeming unaware of Huggy's efforts to awaken him. "Hey, David!" Huggy said louder "Wake up!"

Sapphire eyes flew open, looking around wildly, before finally locking on the soft brown eyes of his new friend gazing down at him warily. Breathing heavily, his heart pounding in his chest, David shoved himself to a sitting position and took several slow deep breathes to calm himself down. He could sense Huggy's concerned gaze focused on him intently.

"I'm okay…" David said in a shaking voice trying to reassure him "Just give me a minute."

"Must've been one hell of dream." Huggy said noting the sweat covered face and the wet curls that framed his features. "You wanna talk about it?"

"It's just a nightmare I have once in a while." David said evasively, refusing to meet his friend's eyes. "Ain't really nothing to talk about."

"What's it about?" Huggy asked probing gently.

At first he didn't think David was going to answer him and then the other boy sighed softly and said in a barely audible voice "When my dad died…..."

"When'd he die?" the black boy asked quietly, trying to draw the other boy out more.

"A little over a year ago." David told him starting to regain some of his composure. He shifted positions trying to get comfortable. He crossed his legs in front of him and leaned his arms against his knees.

"How?"

"He was shot."

Huggy raised his eyebrows in surprise. He had been expecting him to say Cancer or a car accident. He had not expected him to say that he'd been shot. He could sense his friend's emotional pain as he talked about that day, a day that he continued to relive in his nightmares.

"What happened? Was he mugged or something?"

"No." David said, shaking his head slowly "He was a cop. He was just getting home from work…..these guys drove by in a black Chevy and just started shooting."

"Oh man," Huggy said not sure exactly what to say "That's heavy." He caught his breath sharply as another thought occurred to him. "You saw it?" he asked cautiously.

"There was so much blood….it was everywhere." David said in a soft far away voice "He couldn't breath….he kept gasping for air….he…he…grabbed hold of my shirt and wouldn't let go…." Huggy closed his eyes for a moment, cringing at the images David's words brought to mind. The other boy continued as if he'd forgotten that Huggy was even there "I watched his eyes glaze over…..I knew he was dead…..but I couldn't let go of him…."

"Jesus…." Huggy hissed under his breath. His own father had been a small time hustler who left when Huggy was small. He didn't even remember the man. He couldn't imagine going through the trauma that David was describing. No wonder the other boy was so filled with anger and rage. He found himself wondering how much his father's murder had to do with whatever had happened that had caused him to be sent to Bay City to live with his Aunt and Uncle.

Huggy slipped out of bed and sank to the floor beside his new friend. Instinctively, he reached out and put a comforting arm around his shoulders. He could feel the rigid set of the shoulders and the slight tremors that ran through the slender body. Somehow, he sensed that David had never really talked about that day with anyone. If nothing else, Huggy was a good listener. "I'll be right back." Huggy told him quietly, as he shoved himself to his feet and quietly left the room.

He returned in a few minutes and handed David a tall glass of milk. He made a startled face as he took a drink, tasting the faint bite of the whiskey Huggy had added to the drink. Noticing his startled expression, Huggy grinned and said "Just a bit to smooth the edges, ya know? Help ya sleep without any more bad dreams."

"Thanks." David mumbled. He hated it when he had the dream; it was so vivid that he felt like he was living through the whole thing again. After his father's murder, he'd had the dream almost every night for months and then it had finally tapered off. He hadn't had it since he was hurt and in the hospital. The nightmare always left him edgy and disoriented.

"So, your old man was a cop, huh?" Huggy said, settling down on the floor beside David again.

"Yeah…you got a problem with that?" David asked with a hint of defiance in his voice and a clipped tone. His sapphire eyes smoldered with a steadily increasing anger.

"Me? Naw, I ain't got no problem with that." Huggy told him easily "I ain't got no beef with the cops. But then I don't do nothing to draw attention to myself either, ya dig?"

"Most of my friends back home didn't have much use for the cops." David told him with a stony expression on his face but a vulnerable look in his eyes.

"How'd they feel about a cop's kid?" Huggy asked pointedly.

A flush crept into David's neck and cheeks "Most of them didn't know." He admitted ruefully.

"Gang bangers?"

"Some of 'em."

"So, you ever gonna tell me how you hurt your leg?" Huggy asked gently. He had a feeling if he wanted to know, now was the time to ask.

"I had a run in with a baseball bat."

"Take it that wasn't from one of your friends."

"No…." David told him with a thin smile and a roll of his eyes..

"So let me guess….your mom got spooked cause you were running wild and hanging out with the wrong crowd and so she sent you out here."

"That's about the size of it." David admitted gruffly, fighting to hold back the sudden tears that sprang to his eyes. He did a good job of hiding it but Huggy saw him swallowing the lump in his throat.

"And you feel like she just wanted to get rid of you…that she abandoned you."

"That's what she did" David snapped savagely, his anger starting to rise "So why shouldn't I feel that way?" He made no attempt to conceal the bitterness and hurt that crept into his voice. His voice rose sharply until he was almost yelling "SHE DIDN'T WANT ME ANYMORE SO SHE SENT ME AWAY AND NOW SHE'S NOT GONNA LET ME COME BACK HOME!"

"Hey, I'm on your side. Remember?" Huggy said soothingly "Let's play nice or we're gonna wake up my Ma."

David hung his head, ashamed of both his emotional outburst and the tears that streaked his face. "Sorry." He muttered in a muffled voice. Huggy grasped his shoulder and squeezed encouragingly, sensing how much his inner turmoil was costing his friend. Huggy had an innate compassion for anyone in emotional pain. He vowed to find a way to help his new friend get through this and to reunite him with his Aunt and Uncle where he would be safe and taken care of.

37


	12. Chapter 12

**A MOTHER'S LOVE**

**CHAPTER 12**

Huggy smiled as he glanced at the dark haired boy walking by his side. It had only been a little over a week since he'd met the displaced New Yorker but already they had built a unique bond between them different from any other friendship Huggy had ever known. Through casual conversations, Huggy had learned about David's life in New York, at least up to a point. He seldom talked about his life after his father's murder. He had made it clear that the last year of his life was a subject that was off limits. But from what he had learned, Huggy knew that until his father's murder, the Starsky family had been a close knit unit that had fallen on hard times after his father's death. Huggy also knew that his father's death was the source of David's anger, anger that had only deepened when his mother had decided to send him to Bay City. Anger that ran so deep that the other boy was at a loss to express it fully and until he did, he would never heal.

For the last two nights, he had stayed at Huggy's apartment. They both knew that his Aunt and Uncle were probably worried about him and undoubtedly had the police looking for him. Huggy had avoided bringing up the subject of David going home and trying to work things out. He needed more time to come to terms with the upheaval in his life. He was filled with feelings of anger, betrayal, and abandonment combined with an intense homesickness and loneliness. Huggy had already discovered just how closely the brunet guarded his emotions and how resistant he could be to discussing his innermost feelings.

Huggy had some errands to run for his mother and some of his neighbors in the housing complex, so David was going along to keep him company. He was already becoming familiar with the neighborhood. Like a true child of the streets, he knew every alley, every shortcut and every abandoned building in the area. The street-smarts he had acquired on the mean streets of New York served him well in his new environment. Huggy's friends had readily accepted David as an equal, recognizing him as one of their own. But then, David was an easy kid to like with his laid-back, easy-going nature that could just as easily turn to a street-smart predator when needed.

Huggy spotted the black and white police cruiser just as they turned the corner heading for the grocery store on the next corner. He turned his head to warn David to keep out of sight but the other boy was already gone. Huggy grinned to himself realizing that he had disappeared down the alley to their left and taken refuge in the darkness where he wouldn't be seen. Huggy kept walking so as not to draw attention to himself as the cruiser slowly drove past him. Huggy glanced in both directions and then crossed the street to the store. As he opened the door to step inside, David suddenly reappeared at his side. Huggy chuckled softly as the two boys went into the store. He had to admit that David was good when it came to blending into his surroundings so he wouldn't be noticed.

The boys ambled up and down the aisles, picking up the items they had been sent after. They each grabbed a soda and a candy bar for themselves before going to the checkout. Huggy hid a grin as he watched the cashier making eyes at his brunet friend. Flashing his crooked smile, David flirted back and left the store with the older girl's number tucked safely in the pocket of his jeans.

"Way to go, man!" Huggy congratulated him with a grin, the two of them exchanging a high five. "She's hot…"

"Yeah, she reminds me of this honey back home named Lola Masters." David said with a smirk. "Man, she could ride ya hard and put you away wet and leave ya begging for more."

"Sounds like a couple of honeys I know." Huggy told him with a chuckle. They continued to talk about some of the girls they had each known on their way back to the projects. Just before they reached the courtyard, Huggy grabbed David's arm and pulled him in between two buildings that faced the housing project. "Shit, man….the cops are over there."

"They can't be looking for me." David said "Nobody knows I'm here."

"Don't sweat it, man….there's always cops coming and going…probably Artie and his old lady fighting again or they're looking for Big George…he busted into that liquor store last week." Huggy said "You stay here and out of sight. I'll check it out and see what's going down." David nodded and disappeared farther back into the shadows.

As Huggy sauntered across the street, David crouched down behind a dumpster and dug a pack of cigarettes out of his shirt pocket. He lit one and inhaled deeply, holding the smoke in his lungs for a minute before finally letting it drift out his nostrils. A few minutes later, Huggy came back into the alley and crept up to where he was hiding. Sinking down on the ground beside his friend, he said "Shit, they are looking for you. They got a picture of you and they're flashing it around….asking people if they've seen you around here."

"Damn!" David muttered under his breath "Ya think anybody will narc me out?"

"I don't think so….but you never can tell. Old Lady Miller would if she'd seen ya but I ain't seen her around since you been here." Huggy told him

"Fuck, I can't take a chance on staying here any longer. I'm gonna have to split."

"Hey, look….I know you probably don't wanna hear this but won't don't you go back and work things out with your Aunt and Uncle?" Huggy suggested "I mean, they ain't gonna beat the shit outta ya or anything, are they?"

"No….they'll probably just ground me for the rest of my life." David said flatly. "I'll be lucky if they even let me out of the house again till I'm twenty-one."

"Ya can't keep running forever….they'll catch up to ya sooner or later."

"Yeah, I know." David admitted with a heavy sigh.

"Probably go easier on ya if you go back on your own instead of having the cops pick ya up and haul ya off to Juvie."

"Yeah, my Uncle would probably tell 'em to keep me for a while just to teach me a lesson." David mumbled. He leaned his head back against the wall of the building behind him and scowled. "Fuck, I can't change the way things are so I guess I better start accepting it. I ain't gonna be going back home anytime soon."

"Yeah and that sucks." Huggy suddenly grinned "But look at the bright side….if you hadn't come here….you'd have never met the Bear."

"I owe you, man….I owe you big time."

"Don't sweat it. I've been there myself a few times. We're Bro's now…and we're gonna stick together. The Bear will teach you all about the mean streets of Bay City." He cracked a broad smile "As soon as you get offa house arrest that is."

"Can I crash with you tonight?" David asked "Then I'll go home in the morning after my Uncle leaves for work. I'd rather deal with my Aunt first….I can handle her….I'm not so sure about my Uncle."

"Hey, you don't even have to ask." Huggy reassured him "But let's go hang at the basketball court for a while to make the cops have cleared out before we go home."

"Okay." David said, finishing his cigarette and crushing out the butt on the ground. "Hey, what about the stuff you got for your mom and them other ladies?"

"No sweat. I gave the bags to Little Willie and told him who to give them to." Huggy told him. The boys shoved themselves to their feet and cut through the alley to a rundown basketball court two blocks away behind an old church. They slouched down in the shade of an old tree, sharing a cigarette.

"So…" Huggy said as he glanced at his companion "You never did tell me…were you in a gang back there in New York?"

"Not exactly….but I was hanging out with some guys who were." David said "They were teaching me the 'ropes' until I got my ankle busted."

"So just how did that happen?"

"I got jumped by some guys from another gang. They took me up to the roof of this old warehouse and beat the shit out me with a baseball bat, then they threw me off."

"Man…..you have a way with people, don't ya?"

"Yeah,….well, I was kinda seeing this girl, ya know?" David told him with a shy smile "Only I didn't know that she had a boyfriend that belonged to this other gang."

"You are one lucky son-of-a-bitch." Huggy told him with a low whistle of admiration "You're fucking lucky they didn't settle the score with knifes."

"Yeah, well I still got the message….loud and clear." David admitted "They busted my ankle in four places. The doctor back home said even if it heals okay, I'll probably always have trouble with it. I'll be lucky if I don't end up with a limp."

"That sucks."

"Yeah, tell me about it."

"So is that why your mom sent you out here?"

"Let's just say that was the last straw. I'd been fucking up pretty bad for a few months even before that happened."

"Takes a lot of guts to admit that." Huggy told him, his quiet respect for his new friend increasing. "Just remember….anytime you wanna talk about anything….the Bear is here."

"Thanks, Hug….I really appreciate that. I mean…there are some things I can't talk about to my mom or anybody like that, ya know?"

"Yeah, tell me about it. I know where you're coming from." Huggy said as he grasped the brunet's shoulder in a friendly gesture of understanding. "Come on…let's go see what Ma left us for lunch."

41


	13. Chapter 13

**A MOTHER'S LOVE**

**CHAPTER 13**

David sighed deeply and inhaled sharply, exhaling slowly. He could no longer put off the inevitable. Squaring his shoulders, he slowly began walking down the sidewalk toward Rosie and Al's house. Huggy had offered to come with him for moral support but David had declined his friend's offer. He knew this was something he had to do by himself. Like a man, he would face the consequences of his actions on his own. He knew that Al would be at work, so he'd be facing his aunt first. He was nervous about her reaction, but he wasn't afraid. He knew that whatever punishment they gave him, it would be fair and that he deserved it.

Pausing at the front door, he took another deep breath before knocking lightly. After a few anxious minutes, the door opened and David found himself facing his Aunt. A mixture of emotions crossed her face in a matter of seconds, shock, surprise, joy and anger. Before David could speak, she had pulled him into her arms, holding him tightly and brushing her fingers through his curls. "David! Thank god, you're all right." She said breathless, holding him so tightly he could barely breathe. She pulled him into the house and closed the door. Stepping back, she took hold of his shoulders and looked him over critically as if assuring herself that he wasn't hurt. Satisfied that he was in one piece, she said with a trace of anger creeping into her voice "Where have you been? You had us worried sick about you! The police have been looking all over for you!"

"I'm fine." David said lowering his eyes self consciously. He knew she had every right to be upset but he hated hearing the disappointment in her voice. Raising his eyes, he looked at her with a trace of defiance "I can take care of myself. You didn't have to worry about me."

"Oh, David….of course we're going to worry about you….you have no business being out there on the streets by yourself. It's too dangerous!." Rose said in exasperation. "Go make yourself a sandwich. I'm sure you must be hungry. I'm going to call your Uncle and let him know that you're home."

As she moved towards the phone, David felt like bolting out the door but he forced himself to stay. He knew it was too dangerous for him to live on the streets for any length of time. He wasn't stupid. He had five years yet before he turned eighteen. Until then, he'd just have to do what someone else wanted him to do not just what he wanted to do. And the truth was, he needed a home and a family to keep him from falling apart completely. He'd screwed things up with his Mom; he couldn't afford to screw things up with Rose and Al too or he end up either in Juvenile Hall or a foster home and neither of those options were acceptable. .

Rose hung up the phone and turned to look at her nephew who was still standing where she's left him with a wary expression on his face. "Your Uncle is on his way home." Rose told him "David, you know you're going to have to be punished for running away the way you did. Your mother is fit to be tied. I want you to call her right now and let know that you're safe."

"Okay." David said meekly. He knew he would have to call his mother but he had hoped to put it off a little bit longer. He knew that it would not be an easy call to make. His shoulders slumped as he slowly walked over to the phone and picked up the receiver. Sighing deeply, he dialed his mother's number and waited for her to answer the phone. Rose slipped into the kitchen to give him some privacy. She made him a ham and cheese sandwich and poured a tall glass of milk. She could hear the soft murmur of his voice drifting in from the living room as he spoke to his mother. Then she heard the soft sound of his tears. She glanced up as he came into the kitchen, wiping the remainder of his tears away with the back of his hand to try and keep her from seeing them.

"Ma said to have you call her tonight." David said flatly as he sat down at the table to eat the food she had fixed for him. He glanced at his aunt; his sapphire eyes guarded "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset everybody so much."

"Saying you're sorry doesn't always make things right again." Rosie said quietly

"You have people who care about you very much, David….don't keep shutting us out. Let us help you through this."

"There's nothing you can do." David said without much emotion "I have to stay here…I accept that…but I don't have to like it."

"No, you don't. " Rose admitted "But you do have to follow the rules and do what we tell you." He finished his sandwich in silence and drank the rest of his milk. Just as he sat the glass back down on the table, the back door swung open and his Uncle came into the kitchen. He looked at David with the same relieved look on his face that his aunt had displayed when she opened the front door and saw David standing on the stoop. But there was anger there too mixed with the relief and disappointment in his eyes.

"I'm glad you're home, David and that you're all right. Have you called your mother?" Al asked gruffly.

"Yes, sir." David said tightly, meeting his Uncle's gaze without flinching.

"Good. You know you're going to have to punished for what you did, don't you?"

"Yeah, I figured that." David said, a muscle twitching in his jaw as he continued to meet his Uncle's eyes without looking away.

"All right. Obviously, you're grounded indefinitely. You're not to leave this house unless you're with me or your Aunt." Al told him firmly "You're also going to come down to the garage in the afternoons and work with me. In the mornings, you'll help your Aunt around the house." Al paused to give David a chance to absorb what he'd said so far. When he didn't reply, Al took a deep breath and said "I'm sure you also realize that I'm gong to have to whip you for running away like that."

"I know." David said, lowering his eyes to hide the shame and the flare of resentment that rose in his eyes. Nobody had whipped him since his pop had died. Ma might swat him across the backside with her hand or cuff him on the back of the head but a real whipping was always left up to Pop to do.

"Let's get it over with. Then you can stay in your room until supper's ready." Al said. David nodded and slowly shoved himself to his feet, following his Uncle down the hallway to his bedroom. Rose turned away to hide the tears that sprang to her eyes. She knew that David had to be punished but she hated the thought of him getting a whipping when he hadn't even been in their home for a month yet. But she also knew that David needed a firm hand right now to keep him in line.

In his room, David took his punishment without a sound. The belt stung like hell even through the heavy denim of his jeans. He blinked back the tears of pain and shame that flooded his eyes but remained silent, keeping his eyes lowered to the floor. When his Uncle finished, he reached out and gently touched his nephew's shoulder. In a quiet voice, he said "I love you, David and all is forgiven. Just don't do it again." Without a word, he turned and left the room, closing the door softly behind him.

Gingerly, David moved to the side of his bed and lay down on his stomach, burying his face in his pillow to hide the sound of his sobs, as a wave of homesickness overwhelmed him. He could still hear the disappointment and relief in his mother's voice when she heard his voice on the phone. He'd lost it when she started crying and blaming herself for his running away. He was so confused and overwhelmed with emotions that he couldn't readily identify. He still felt betrayed and abandoned by his mother which fueled his rage but he still loved her too and missed her terribly. He wanted her arms around him to comfort him as he cried but she was over three thousand miles away and he felt so alone. Finally, he cried himself to sleep.

For the next few days, he was quiet and withdrawn, only speaking when he was spoken to. He started helping his Uncle out at his garage in the afternoons, sweeping the floors and doing other odd jobs. Strangely enough, he found that the routine gave him a sense of purpose. Always interested in cars, it also gave him the opportunity to learn more about them and how to work on them. Slowly, he found himself adjusting to his new environment and his new life but he still missed his old life back in New York. He tried not to think much about because it brought back too many painful memories that he'd rather not think about. Late at night, just before he drifted off to sleep, he always found himself wondering what his mother and Nicky were doing back home without him. And if any of his old friends even remembered him at all.

43


	14. Chapter 14

**A MOTHER'S LOVE**

**CHAPTER 14**

The sound of David's screams echoed through the whole house as Rosie threw open his bedroom door and rushed into the room. Rachel had warned them that David was prone to nightmares but this was the first one he'd had since he'd come to live with them. He was thrashing around on the bed, tangled in the covers, and swinging his arms as he found the invisible demons only he could see. A fine sheen of sweat covered his face and his features were contorted with pain and fear.

"David! David!" Rose said as she sank down on the edge of the bed beside him. She reached out to shake his shoulder, trying to pull him out of the dream that held him captive. "David! Wake up! It's only a dream!"

David's eyes flew open but he still appeared to be confused and disoriented, not fully awake. With a heart wrenching cry, he threw himself into his Aunt's arms and buried his face against her shoulder. "Mama!" he whimpered. Rose gently rubbed his back and whispered soothing words of comfort as she tried to stop the trembling she could feel running through the slender body. She could feel the wetness of David's tears on her shoulder as she held him close. His breath was coming in short gasping pants as he struggled to drawn enough oxygen into his lungs. Finally, after several long torturous minutes, his breathing slowed down and evened out as he seemed to regain control of his composure. But he remained in the comfort of his Aunt's embrace, reluctant to break the soothing contact between them.

Rose smiled faintly as she ran her fingers through those thick soft curls. When she was younger, she had suffered from night terrors and she knew how debilitating they could be, emotionally and mentally. She could only hope that David would outgrown his tendency towards nightmares as he got older. She felt David shifting positions, pulling away from her. "I'm sorry." He sniffed in an embarrassed voice as if he had just now realized where he was.

"There's nothing to be sorry for." Rose told him, putting a comforting hand on his shoulder and squeezing gently. "You were having a bad dream. Do you wanna talk about it?"

"No…." David said with a snort. "Like you said…it was just a dream."

"You should try to get some sleep. You have a doctor's appointment tomorrow. Maybe they'll finally take that cast off."

"I hope so." David mumbled as he lay back down and pulled the blankets up around his shoulders. He turned on his left side with his back to his aunt, dismissing her.

Rose stood up, then impulsively leaned down and kissed her nephew's cheek. "I love you, David." She said "Sleep well. No more bad dreams." She left the room, closing the door softly behind her, and made her way back to her own bed.

David lay there staring into the darkness, watching the shadows on the wall. He still felt shaky from the dream. This time he had relived the attack by the other boys on the roof in every excruciatingly vivid detail. Only this time when they threw him off the roof, he didn't get up and walk away. He died there in that alley and nobody even cared.

His life had changed so drastically in the past eight weeks. In a short span of time, he had been ripped away from everything familiar to him, from his home and his family, and suddenly found himself in a totally alien environment, living with an Aunt and an Uncle that were virtually strangers to him. And the only friend he had here was a street wise teenage black hustler that he was sure his Aunt and Uncle would never approve of.

School would be starting in a few weeks and that was bound to bring a new set of problems for him to deal with. He doubted if a Jewish wise guy from Brooklyn was going to fit in very well at his new school. David had never liked or disliked school He just went because he had to. But schoolwork did not come easily for him. It took him longer to remember stale dry facts that he didn't want to remember in the first place. He learned better by doing things than by reading about them.

He had resigned himself to the fact that his mother wouldn't be letting him come back home anytime soon but it still hurt. It hurt deep inside, a lingering wound on his very soul. Although he knew that it was his own behavior that had prompted her to send him away, he still felt as if she had given him away to strangers because she just didn't want him around anymore. And why did she have to send him to California? He had numerous relatives back in New York that he could have stayed with. Rose and Al were the only two members of the extended Starsky clan that lived so far away. Ma had told him that he would understand when he got older but that didn't help him any right now. The pain of what he saw as her betrayal and abandonment combined with the terrible memories of his father's murder only kept the rage deep inside of him simmering, looking for an outlet, a target to focus his anger on. Finally, he fell into a restless sleep.

The days passed slowly filled with the same routine. He got up in the mornings, ate his breakfast and then spent most of the morning helping Rosie do chores around the house. His Uncle came home for lunch and then David went back to his garage with him for the afternoon and did chores there. Then they went home around six o'clock in the evening for supper. David ate and spent the rest of the evening until bedtime watching TV. The only break in his routine was on Friday nights when he called his mother and talked to her and Nicky for an hour or more.

At least, the cast had finally been removed from his leg. The ankle had healed but it was still tender and had pins inserted in the bone. The doctors said he would always have trouble with that ankle. Because of the way it had been broken, it would always be weaker than his right one and he would be more prone to spraining it or even breaking it again. But being without the cast increased his mobility and gave him back his freedom of movement.

Slowly, he was adjusting to his new life but he still held back, keeping his emotions closely guarded. Outwardly, he appeared quiet and slightly withdrawn while inwardly, he was screaming out for someone to care about him and what he was going through. His only refuge was the solitude of his room. He started keeping a journal, writing down the feelings in those pages that he couldn't bring himself to share with anyone. He poured out his loneliness, his fears, and his anger at the world in general, finding a small sense of peace at being able to write them down on paper. He hid the journal under his mattress away from prying eyes. It was far too private and personal to allow anyone else to find it.

He was cordial and polite to his Aunt and his Uncle but he rarely laughed anymore and his smiles were forced instead of spontaneous. But his Aunt and Uncle were patient and loving, chipping away slowly at the wall he had built around himself and giving him the space he needed to adjust and accept them as his new guardians. And even if David himself didn't realize it, Al was starting to fill the void in his life that had been left by his father's brutal murder. But they were not his parents and they didn't try to be. It was a long slow process but they were all getting to know one another and fitting the pieces together to make living together in the same house possible.

Al encouraged and shared David's interest in cars and in sports. Since Al owned his own garage, David was learning the basics of auto mechanics and they spent Sunday afternoons watching sports on TV. A few times, Al even took David to the stadium to watch a real ballgame. Rosie soon learned all of David's favorite foods and took pleasure in preparing them for him, although she often found herself wondering where on earth he put all the food he consumed. Rosie and Al delighted in catching glimpses of David in those unguarded moments when he let his true nature show through. They knew that he had been severely traumatized by the move to Bay City combined with the vicious attack that had left him injured and his father's murder before that. But they vowed to be there for him if he would only let them.

47


	15. Chapter 15

**A MOTHER'S LOVE**

**CHAPTER 15**

David ate his breakfast, keeping his head down to hide the anxiety that filled his deep blue eyes. Today was the first day of school and he was not looking forward to it. For the past month, he had been confined to this house or his Uncle's garage, isolated from the world around him by his enforced punishment for running away. Today would be his first solo venture back into the teenage world he had left behind him in New York.

Back home, he had gone to the same school with the same classmates from the day he entered the school system. The idea of going to a new school where he didn't know anyone was intimidating. But his natural bravado and cocky nature had served him well in the past, so he hoped it would serve him well now.

"Do you have everything you need?" Rose asked pleasantly, stealing a glance at her curly haired nephew. She knew he was nervous about starting school but she didn't anticipate any problems. Rachel had told her that back home David had never had trouble making friends. Rose knew that he needed to be around other teenagers his own age and be free to participate in all the normal teenage activities that were part of growing up.

"Yeah." David said, finishing his food and shoving himself to his feet. "I better go or I'll be late." Rose nodded as she watched him gather up his things and head out the door to walk the eight blocks to the Junior High School where she had registered him for the eighth grade.

Outside it was a typical southern California morning. The sun was shining brightly and there was just a hint of a breeze. The temperature was already in the high seventies and would be closer to ninety by noon. David kept to himself as he walked towards school, ignoring the other kids that were coming out of the neighboring houses along the way and joining him on the sidewalk.

The building where he would be attending school looked a lot like his old school back in New York. The three story red brick building faced the street with paved lot to one side that held a few swings, and a basket ball hoop that had both seen better days. The lot was surrounded by a high metal fence. David sighed as he joined the other teenagers crowding into the building. Inside, the building smelled of chalk, sweat, stale piss, disinfectant and plain old age. David saw the sign for the office and headed in that direction to get his class schedule.

"Hey, white bread!" he heard a familiar voice. He turned his head, grinning broadly when he saw the smiling face of Huggy Bear. The tall thin black boy shoved himself away from the wall where he had been leaning and walked over to his recently made friend. "Haven't seen ya around lately….thought maybe they shipped you back to New York after all."

"No chance of that." David said with a hint of sullenness in his voice. "I've been grounded….haven't been able to go anywhere or do anything."

"Hey, least you got rid of that cast." Huggy said with a grin, noting his friends relaxed stance as they stood in the hall talking. "You picking up your schedule?"

"Yeah." David told him, glancing at the office anxiously.

"Tell ya what," Huggy told him "Get in there and get it and I'll steer ya in the right direction."

"Okay. Thanks." David said in a relieved voice, glad that at least he had one friend he knew he could count on at his new school. He noticed some of the other students casting curious glances at him and at Huggy but he pointedly ignored them as he pushed open the door and stepped into the office. He came back out a few minutes later with a sheet of paper in his hand that had his class schedule printed out on it. Huggy took the paper from his hand and glanced at it.

"Hey, this is great!" Huggy said "We have most of the same classes together, except for gym and shop class. Come on. I'll show ya where our home room is." David smiled faintly as he followed his friend down the hallway towards the stairs that led to the second floor. Maybe this school wouldn't be that bad after all.

His Aunt was waiting impatiently for him to get home that afternoon. She glanced up when the back door slammed and David came into the house, his face unreadable as he tossed his books on the table. "How was your first day?" she asked

"It sucked." David muttered as he slumped down at the table. Rose sat a plate of freshly baked cookies down in front of him along with a glass of milk. She knew not to push David for any more information. He would volunteer it if he wanted her to know, otherwise he would keep it to himself. She wasn't really surprised when he chose not to share his day with her. She knew that a new school was another adjustment he would have to make on his own.

David ate the snack his Aunt had made in silence. Huggy had kept David under his wing most of the day, helping him get used to the layout of the school and the daily routine but even Huggy hadn't been able to stop some of the other students from teasing David relentlessly about his heavy Brooklyn accent or his faded jeans and tee shirt. A few students had even made derogatory remarks about him hanging with Huggy. Even his homeroom teacher had made some offensive remarks about his accent, making his face burn with embarrassment when she told him to stop mumbling and speak more clearly.

After school, Huggy had walked half way home with him. He encouraged David to ignore the hurtful remarks from the other students and bought him a soda to cheer him up. David thought about inviting him to come home with him to meet his aunt but decided he wasn't ready to do that yet. By the time he reached the house he now called home, he had pushed the cutting remarks and laughter behind the wall that guarded his emotions. After finishing his afternoon snack, David walked over to his Uncle's garage where he would do chores until closing time and then go home with his Uncle for supper.

Over the next three weeks, the situation at school continued to decline. David was taunted more and more, not just for his accent and his friendship with Huggy but also because some of the other kids found out that he was Jewish and that he lived with his Aunt and Uncle instead of his parents. Teenagers can be cruel. Sometimes it's unintentional but all too often it isn't. As was his nature when he felt threatened or intimidated, David fought back the way he knew best. With his fists and with his mouth.

After breaking another student's nose during a fight brought on by the other boy making some nasty remarks about David's heritage, he ended up suspended from school for three days. Not particularly fond of school to begin with, he now started to hate it.

Uncle Al was called at the garage and had to come to school to pick David up. The principal gave him his version of what had happened without allowing David to tell his Uncle his side of the story. The principal made his own prejudices known when he made the comment to Al that David might be better off in another school with more of his "kind'. Never one to back down from a confrontation, Al looked the other man straight in the eye and told him that if David was not allowed back into school after his suspension, then the school could expect a lawsuit to be filed on his behalf for discrimination. The principal's face turned a bright red and he ordered Al and his nephew out of his office.

Al waited until he got David home before he asked for his side of the story. Still angry over the way he'd been treated, and with more than a trace of belligerence and defiance in his voice, David told him what had happened. Al sighed when David had finished his story and looked at his teenaged nephew with compassion and understanding. Al had dealt with more than his share of discrimination over the years because of his religious beliefs and he knew how much the name calling and the slurs could hurt, especially to a boy like David who was already so full of unrepressed anger and emotional pain.

"David," he said gently, clasping the boy's shoulder with one hand and catching his chin with the other so that David had no choice but to look at him. "I understand how you felt….I really do. But you're not going to change the way people feel or think…there are some people out there who are always going to call you names because you're a Jew. That doesn't make it right but it is going to happen. You can't resolve everything with your fists…that's not the answer. The boys who are calling you names have probably learned that attitude from their parents….they hate something without even knowing why they hate it. And all you can do is be a bigger man then they are and walk away. It takes more courage to do that than it does to fight.

I'm not going to whip you this time….but I will the next time you use your fists to solve your problems. And you still have to be punished for breaking that other boy's nose and getting suspended for it. So you will stay in your room for the next three days while you're suspended. The only time you are allowed to leave this room is to go to bathroom or to eat your meals. Is that understood?"

"Yeah…." David muttered, lowering his eyes and blinking back the unshed tears. He knew that he had disappointed his Uncle again, something that seemed to becoming a habit. Back home, David's neighborhood and his school had been integrated with a mixture of Jews, Blacks, Hispanics, and Italians. Although he'd encountered some discrimination for being Jewish, it hadn't been as blatant as it was at this new school. It was just another example of how different Bay City was compared to his old neighborhood, a difference he would have to learn to live with.

50


	16. Chapter 16

**A MOTHER'S LOVE**

**CHAPTER 16**

David smiled as he looked at the bright lights and other decorations his Aunt had put up around the house. This would be the first time he'd celebrated Christmas and Hanukkah both. Although Al was Jewish, Rose was a Catholic which meant that in their home, they celebrated not just the Jewish holy days but also observed the traditional Christian ones as well, such as Christmas and Easter. It was a diverse mixture of cultures and religious beliefs that would take some getting used to.

David had helped his Aunt with the decorations and later that evening they were going to decorate the tree that Al had brought home with him after work. David actually found himself looking forward to the upcoming holidays even if he couldn't share them with his mother and his brother. He had always loved celebrating the holy days, especially Hanukkah. His mother had been more religious than his father had been. She was the one who made sure David and Nicky went to both Temple and Hebrew school after their regular school day was over. But David hadn't been to Temple or Hebrew school since his father died and no amount of pleading on his mother's part could change his mind.

Things at school had stayed pretty much the same. After breaking the other boy's nose in their fight, the boys who'd been harassing him about being a Jew had backed off a little but they still harassed David every chance they got. He was slowly losing the worst of his New York accent, although he would always pronounce certain words with a Brooklyn dialect. School was still not a pleasant experience but David had made his own small group of friends with Huggy Bear firmly by his side. He had finally introduced Huggy to his Aunt and Uncle. Although they were surprised at his choice of a best friend, Huggy had a way of charming even the most resistant adults and he was given their approval to hang with David. He was slowly making a niche for himself in his new environment, even though his heart was still back in New York.

David drifted over to the table beside the tree where the silver Menorah sat waiting to be lit later that evening. The Menorah consisted of eight candle holders in a row with a separate candle holder for the Shamash candle which would be used to light the other eight candles. He smiled faintly as he vaguely remembered the first time he had been allowed to help light the candles. He had only been around three at the time. He had always loved the tradition of the Menorah and it was one of the few traditions associated with his faith that he would carry over with him into adulthood.

Rose came into the room and saw David standing in front of the Menorah, an almost forlorn expression on his face, as his fingers gently brushed across the silver candle holders. Stepping up beside him, she said quietly "David, are you all right?" She was startled to see the tears glistening in those sapphire eyes when he turned his head to look at her.

"I miss my mom." David admitted in a soft quiet voice that tore at her heart.

"I know, baby," Rose said, gathering the young boy in her arms and holding him close "I know." For a moment she felt him tense up in her embrace, then with a gentle sigh, he relaxed against her, allowing the comfort she was offering. He still had his bad days, days when he was rebellious and argumentative, his temper flaring with little warning, but as time passed, those days came more infrequently. He had already suffered so many traumas in his young life, traumas that had left him scarred emotionally and reluctant to allow himself to get close to anyone. But he was also one of the most resilient people that Rose had ever known. He had to be just to survive everything he'd already been through.

With his face buried against her shoulder, David said in a muffled voice "Why doesn't she want me anymore? Was I that bad?"

"Oh, honey….." Rose said, a catch her own voice at his words. "Is that what you think? That your mother doesn't want you anymore?" David slowly shook his head without moving out of her embrace. Rose took a deep breath, choosing her next words with care, sensing that her answers to his questions would determine his reactions. She carefully guided him over to the sofa and pulled him down beside her. David went willingly and leaned his head against her shoulder, trying desperately to hold back the tears that threatened to start falling at any time.

Once they were settled in place, she said "David, your mother loves you very very much….you need to understand that. And that's why she sent you away because she loves you. She was so afraid that if you stayed back in New York, the next you might not be as lucky as you were this time…she didn't want to have to bury you too. That would have killed her. She knew that you needed something more than she was able to give you by herself, something precious that you lost when your father died." Although David didn't speak, Rose could sense that he was listening to her, really listening. "She wanted you to have a chance at a better life than she could have given you if she had let you stay in New York. She cried so hard when she called me and Al and asked us to bring you out here to live. I know you may not believe this or understand it right now, but she did it out love…..the love of a mother for her son, the love that makes a mother go to any length to protect her child and keep them safe. She didn't want to give you up or send you away but she did it. She did it for you, not for herself." She cupped David's chin in her hand and forced him to look at her so he would hear her next words clearly "You are not bad, David. You've never been bad….just confused and angry and so full of hurt that the only way you could express the way you felt was by lashing out at everyone around you. Your mother already blames herself for what happened, for sending you away. She'll have to learn to live with that and so will you. But don't ever doubt how much she loves you."

Finally, the tears that David had held back for so long burst free and he began to sob uncontrollably, held tightly in his Aunt's loving embrace. He cried for the loss of his father and his mother, he cried for his lost innocence, and he finally let go of the hurt and the angry that had dictated his life for over almost two years. He cried until he had no tears left to cry and he slumped beside his Aunt, exhausted, both mentally and emotionally. After a while, Rose realized that he had fallen asleep, his head nestled against her shoulder. Gently, she eased him down onto the sofa and covered him with the afghan that lay over the back of the couch. She smiled through her own tears as she gently brushed back a curl that fell over his forehead. At that moment, he looked so young and so innocent but for the first time since he had come to live with them, he also finally looked to be at peace. Hopefully now he could begin to heal.

52


	17. Chapter 17

**A MOTHER'S LOVE**

**Author's note: This is the conclusion of young David's story. I hope you have enjoyed my version of the teenage David's struggle to come to terms with his personal demons and his new life in Bay City. **

**CHAPTER 17**

David Starsky glanced around at the house he had called home for the past six years of his life. He smiled faintly as he remembered the rebellious and angry teenager who had come here to live when he was 13. It hadn't been an easy adjustment to leave behind his mother and brother in New York and move here to Bay City, California. Over time, he had reconciled with his mother after originally feeling as if she had abandoned him and turned him over to the care of his Aunt Rose and his Uncle Al because she no longer loved him. Now, he realized that her sending him away had been a sacrifice of love that had probably saved his life in more ways than one.

Rose and Al had been wonderful surrogate parents, giving him guidance, a strong belief in himself, and tampering his temperament with understanding and love. It took him a while to come to terms with his new life and to learn to focus his energy and anger into more constructive ventures. He'd made some good friends here, including his first and closest friend, Tommy Brown, affectionately known as Huggy Bear to his friends. Huggy had helped David to survive those first early months in California when his anger and emotional turmoil had dominated everything he did.

David had grown into an independent and resourceful young man that his father would have been proud of. His father's untimely murder when David was only twelve years old and his forced move from New York to California had left emotional scars that would never heal entirely but he had learned to deal with them. The young man he was today bore little resemblance to the angry, bitter young boy who had first come to Bay City six years ago.

His New York accent had softened until only a trace of it remained in his speech and he had grown into a handsome, well muscled young man who stood close to six feet tall. He had finally left school behind, graduating in the lower half of his class and leaving behind the taunts and slurs against his accent, his attitude and his Jewish heritage. By the time he reached his senior year in high school, his reputation with his fists had preceded him enough that most of the other boys who didn't care for him steered clear of him. He still had a quick temper and a smart mouth that tended to get him into trouble more than he cared to remember.

After graduation, he had gone to work in his Uncle's garage full time but that would all be changing in two weeks as he embarked on another path on his way to adulthood. He had received his draft notice and he would be reporting to basic training.

He knew that after basic was over, he would more than likely be sent to Viet Nam. That idea scared him but he was determined to face it with the same iron will and determination that helped him to survive the traumas of his childhood. And if nothing else, David Michel Starsky was a survivor and he always would be.

53


End file.
